Posts Tagged ‘ROSI’

ROSI is dead. Long live ROSI.

September 26th, 2012

This note was posted on Facebook last night. This was the team I announced for for two seasons. Their last two seasons, as it turned out. I feel like the Ted McGinley of ROSI. A heavy heart indeed. What a drag. ROSI didn’t give me exactly what I wanted, but it gave me more than I could ever ask for. This note is just the public acknowledgement of what has been known or suspected for anyone who ever skated or worked as staff for ROSI. What a drag.


Dear Friends, Family, and Derby Community, 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the formal dissolution of the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana. We’ve had a wonderful 5 years here in the community and it pains us terribly to be dissolving. We thank everyone for their support through the years whether as a fan, skater, NSO, ref, support staff, or spectator.


The Rollergirls of Southern Indiana

P.S. – If you need a derby fix, you can still find some of your favorite ROSI’s with Demolition City Roller Derby here in Evansville. Please continue to support the Evansville derby community.

2nd Attempt At July Wrap-Up

July 31st, 2011

Let’s start at the end. The recording of a new Technology Vs. Horse EP that started the other day. Five songs. Bass and drums were laid down. I finished two vocal tracks. Next week, I will finish the other three tracks. Guitar and keys will also be finished. Release date? Not sure.


Still haven’t received Kickstarter money. People keep asking me. Haven’t got it, but I have the bank statements to prove I haven’t received the funds yet. $540 or thereabouts.


ROSI’s Skate Or Bust 3 took place on July 23rd. We raised about $3,000 for American Cancer Society’s “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer”. Two pickup teams playing against each other. The Milk Maids vs. The Bad Mammogrammers. Milk Maids won 110-107. A great night.


Last jam of the bout.


Photos by Cory Layman


I had a tooth extracted the week before in Owensboro. The upper right molar on top, farthest back. It was broken and needed to be pulled out. Several days of pain meds and stitches that dissolved after about a week. Gauze in mouth to soak up the blood and pus. Antibiotics out the wazoo. I have the tooth here in a pouch of my table. Mom doesn’t want to keep it. She has a collection of my baby teeth. This one isn’t as cute.


Two days after the surgery, I went to watch my ROSIs participate in a lumberjill wrestling match in Evansville. I’ve written about this before but I didn’t have the photos to show it. Here are a few more of Cory’s fantastic photos from that particular event.


ROSI surrounds the ring


ROSI's Andre'a The Giant dumps Lady Vendetta back into the ring


ROSI models the NFW World Championship. Photos by Cory Layman.

ROSI meets NFW!

July 18th, 2011

Don’t drive while under the influence of Lortab. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, here are some notes from ROSI’s appearance at New Focus Wrestling’s “Red, White, Black & Blue” event at the Metro Sports Complex in Evansville. The ROSIs were supposed to be lumberjacks in a women’s match between Lady Vendetta and Epiphany.


Some notes I took during the night’s festivities.


I’ve seen probably three GWAR shirts since I’ve been here.

An old lady brought noise makers and an airhorn. Dear God.

10 minutes into the show, Master Rich and T-Bolt called each other gay.

The soundman was playing “Born This Way” before the show started.

T-Bolt sang the National Anthem. It felt strange to hear a bad guy wrestler sing it. I admit to giggling just a bit. Need I remind you I was on Lortab.


Eight matches on the card. First one is the German War Machine vs. Bobo Brazil, Jr. I laughed a little too hard when Bobo won with a schoolboy rollup. After the match, Bobo cut a promo where he talked about surviving two heart attacks and a stroke and also plead with the menfolk in the audience to “take care of your wife”. Five stars.


There was a tag-team match next. All four participants wore black wifebeaters. The airhorn lady also brought two rubber chickens and a towel that had “CRYING TOWEL” written on it in marker. A “CHICKEN” chant has started. The bad guys won after some cheating. Don’t remember the names of the guys in the match. Five stars.


Madman Pondo came out for the third match and called someone in the audience gay.

Third match was a fatal 4-way with Madman Pondo, 2 Tuff Tony, and a couple of guys I can’t remember. 2 Tuff Tony hit on one of the ROSIs in the locker room before the show started… “What d’yoo say me and you about 10 o’clock tonight?” Madman Pondo won the fatal 4-way. I can’t remember what happened. Five stars.


Master Rich came back out for his tag match and stood on the turnbuckle looking at the ROSIs, mouthing “call me”. He came to our bout on the 9th to promote this show. Five stars.


Vic The Bruiser hit a guy with a bag of Oreos over and over again. It was the highlight of my night. Five stars.


T-Bolt came back out for a match against the Nighthawk, who looks like one of the Road Warriors if they were in a white-power militia. Bobo Brazil, Jr. came back out to yell at T-Bolt and Nighthawk rolled him up for the pin. T-Bolt is a fan of ROSI and will probably come to the next show. We should have him sing the anthem at the bout. Five stars.


Lincoln Moseley of N-V-US autographed a McDonald’s drink cup. I also saw an old fat woman bite her son on the hand. The same son was shoved by Vic The Bruiser after his match. Before the main event, J-Millz called ROSI a “bunch of desperate skanks”. I left before the end of the match between him and Rob Conway. Five stars.


There is also the matter of the ROSI lumberjack match but I’m going to wait until I see the pictures to talk more about that. It was a great moment and the crowd ate up every bit of it. But Cory’s pictures need to be seen to be believed. I give him credit for wearing the kilt at a wrestling show. I guess Roddy Piper paved the way for him and his ilk.

So I Was Burned Out, And…

June 26th, 2011

So many of you who read this may well notice that there was only one post between the 14th and today. Sometimes I need to pull back for a while, and I guess this was my version of that. A lot of things happened and I’ll try to recap as much of it as I can in this post. You should be thankful that I’m not microblogging or doing the Foursquare thing from my little wireless device, bugging you about all the little places I’m going and who I’m with while I’m there. Sometimestimestimes you writewritewrite until you can’tcan’tcan’t stand it anymoremoremore.


In rollerderby news, my sweet ladies from the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana have won two straight bouts, against the Peoria Push Derby and Quad Skate Terrors respectively. It is a morale booster for our team which has been shorthanded and suffered some tough losses to start the season. Our next bout is July 9th, in Evansville at Swonder. I encourage you to come out.


In fact, I don’t encourage you to come out. I wish you would come out. It’s hard to get my friends to come out to roller derby. I have numerous friends in the Evansville area and I get a lot of excuses from people why they can’t go. Is it not enough that you can see the female equivalent of NASCAR on wheels? Is it not enough that I’m one of the announcers for said event? Do I have to shame people into attending the bout. I know people have kids, but c’mon. Kids ten and under get in free! You don’t have to pay for their no-contributing asses to sit and be amazed at what’s going on in front of them. Come on, already. What more must I do?

Fort Wayne Recap 1

May 17th, 2011

So it’s been a few days since I’ve chimed in here at my homestead and all the bots tried to creep in with their comments that had nothing to do with the topics at hand. Oh, but I get to approve comments before posting them. Suck on that, spam cocks.


Fort Wayne, Indiana was host to the 2011 Spring Roll Invitational. A four-tiered roller derby event lasting two days, the event comprised of a five-team tournament, a three-team round robin on WFTDA-certified bouts, junior derby for under 18s, and thus far the largest amalgamation of men’s roller derby seen in the United States.


I attended on behalf of the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana, the team that I announce for that competed in the round-robin WFTDA-certified games. This entailed two games against Fort Wayne ‘s and Bleeding Heartland’s A-teams, and those teams against each other.


ROSI rented a 15-person passenger van that we packed ourselves into and drove across the state longways like a forward slash. From Evansville, through Bloomington and Indianapolis to Fort Wayne, I want to say the trip took about seven hours. Numerous stops to stretch legs, dinner, gasoline, bathroom breaks added to the delay. We finally got to Fort Wayne around midnight, which was not a good sign as ROSI had a bout a mere nine hours from then.


Sleep was not to be had, thanks to a broken C-PAP mask. During the trip, the mask in its’ travel case had a clean break through the bridge of it. I tried to hold it together with tape. I needed a stronger masking tape and the front desk didn’t have it. I probably slept about forty-five minutes next to Mr. Macabre, fellow announcer who had been a complete stranger before sharing a bed with him.


Bob Noxious organized the announcing for Spring Roll and reserved two rooms at the Marriott for us. Two rooms, meaning four beds, for at least ten announcers. This meant bunking up. Poor Mr. Macabre had to share a bed with me but I tried to be a considerate snuggler. He did not enjoy being outer spoon, though.


There were fourteen announcers total working this event, but some of them lived local enough to just show up the morning of the tournament. I envy them. I can’t believe I envy people who live in the greater metropolitan Fort Wayne area. It’s all perspective, people.


So with a mere wisp of sleep in their heads and a mere nine skaters activated, ROSI went to Fort Wayne and got smoked. Badly, Fort Wayne smoked them in the first bout by a score of 228-26. It was “bowling shoe ugly”, to borrow a phrase from a wiser announcer than I. For the ROSIs, it was difficult. For me, it was almost impossible to make interesting. I tried, really I did. When dealing with a significant rout, announcers try to focus on the positives from the losing team. So I did, but I can’t remember what I said because I was as sleep deprived as the team was, perhaps more so. Probably something about their butts. Hulk Smash’s husband shooting Bin Ladin in the face while overseas serving our country. He probably didn’t but that’s the angle I’m taking. He’ll get an early reprieve from duty in Afghanistan, it was learned later on that day. The difference between returning in July and returning in September.


Second bout went on later that day and ROSI performed better against Bleeding Heartland. Still lost, 129-55, but at least no one got into a stretcher at the end. Last ROSI-BH game was in April, and our team forfeited after two skaters were taken to an amberlamps with neck injuries and concussions. This was a more competitive game and gave the team something positive to chew on on the drive back to Evansville.


This is part one of two. Next part will focus more on the announcer end of things. I kinda gave short shrift to the actual bouts here, so there will be a few more sumptous details. I’m already at 700 words here, so we’ll leave it at this for now.