Posts Tagged ‘rollerderby’

ROSI is dead. Long live ROSI.

September 26th, 2012

This note was posted on Facebook last night. This was the team I announced for for two seasons. Their last two seasons, as it turned out. I feel like the Ted McGinley of ROSI. A heavy heart indeed. What a drag. ROSI didn’t give me exactly what I wanted, but it gave me more than I could ever ask for. This note is just the public acknowledgement of what has been known or suspected for anyone who ever skated or worked as staff for ROSI. What a drag.


Dear Friends, Family, and Derby Community, 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the formal dissolution of the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana. We’ve had a wonderful 5 years here in the community and it pains us terribly to be dissolving. We thank everyone for their support through the years whether as a fan, skater, NSO, ref, support staff, or spectator.


The Rollergirls of Southern Indiana

P.S. – If you need a derby fix, you can still find some of your favorite ROSI’s with Demolition City Roller Derby here in Evansville. Please continue to support the Evansville derby community.

So I Was Burned Out, And…

June 26th, 2011

So many of you who read this may well notice that there was only one post between the 14th and today. Sometimes I need to pull back for a while, and I guess this was my version of that. A lot of things happened and I’ll try to recap as much of it as I can in this post. You should be thankful that I’m not microblogging or doing the Foursquare thing from my little wireless device, bugging you about all the little places I’m going and who I’m with while I’m there. Sometimestimestimes you writewritewrite until you can’tcan’tcan’t stand it anymoremoremore.


In rollerderby news, my sweet ladies from the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana have won two straight bouts, against the Peoria Push Derby and Quad Skate Terrors respectively. It is a morale booster for our team which has been shorthanded and suffered some tough losses to start the season. Our next bout is July 9th, in Evansville at Swonder. I encourage you to come out.


In fact, I don’t encourage you to come out. I wish you would come out. It’s hard to get my friends to come out to roller derby. I have numerous friends in the Evansville area and I get a lot of excuses from people why they can’t go. Is it not enough that you can see the female equivalent of NASCAR on wheels? Is it not enough that I’m one of the announcers for said event? Do I have to shame people into attending the bout. I know people have kids, but c’mon. Kids ten and under get in free! You don’t have to pay for their no-contributing asses to sit and be amazed at what’s going on in front of them. Come on, already. What more must I do?

Maintain Momentum Michael

April 19th, 2011

I should put a comma up there in the title, but then again I should also not talk to myself. Even if that’s what blogging is, or if it is the equivalent of shouting at an empty sky.


Technology Vs. Horse is playing a gig tomorrow, which is 4/20 (tee-hee) at Java City WKU in Bowling Green. I was hoping to record my solo album afterward but that has been postponed a day. So instead I will go into the studio again on Thursday, the 21st. I’m trying to stay on top of this thing, and the quicker I can get everything done the better. Must maintain momentum, Michael. There I go again.


I will not be attending the Kentucky Derby next month or any of its’ satellite party nonsense because I will be in scenic, tropical Evansville, Indiana for ROSI’s home opener. It takes place the same day and thankfully I won’t be at a sad racetrack surrounded by sad degenerates.


Speaking of roller derby, recently the WFTDA voted to allow female transgendered athletes to play, defining “female” as “living as a woman and having sex hormones that are within the medically acceptable range for a female.”


I’m slightly ambivalent about this but I’m not as invested in this ruling as I would be if I were a skater, and the WFTDA member leagues has input into the decision. Roller derby is the fastest growing sport in the world and the most LGBT friendly sport as well. This is an inclusive thing and more sensible as a ruling than what happened to runner Caster Semenya the last two years.


I also doubt that there will be too many “Juwanna Mann“-types putting on skates just so they can dominate in a non-profit sport like roller derby. Somewhere in Hollywood, a producer just had that idea pop into his head for a sequel. “Juwanna Mann 2: Roll-Her Derby!” Egads.

Here Are Some Pictures b/w Nerdboner

March 15th, 2011

Some illustrations, if you will. For the Tumblr types. Including a special Nerdboner at the end. People hate reading. You can go through an entire Tumblr in about ten minutes if you don’t hang on one .gif too long.


This is Jess of UndressJess fame in a nun costume. There is not enough nun porn in the world.

Downtown Dallis of Arch Rival Roller Girls in the Princess Leia costume. That's me behind her staring like a stoned puppy.

Downtown Dallis photo stolen from Ed Casteel.

UndressJess photo stolen from (duh) UndressJess.

I drew the Worst People Ever graph. That took a lot of effort.



Significant Linkage

March 1st, 2011

I am trying to get used to having this space so bear with me. I wanted to group all relevant links for the time being here, things that have been covered in previous posts. I know I should have linked them into the text but I wanted you to read the damn things and not be carried away before you’re finished. Doesn’t that make sense?


Kentucky Prophet:


Facebook Like-Page

Facebook Group


Technology Vs. Horse:

Facebook Like-Page


Bandcamp (featuring all three of our albums)


Rollergirls Of Southern Indiana


SkyeMag (Online monthly by Yellowberri, did an article about me in Issue 2)

Bowling Green Comedy (puts on monthly shows at State Street Pub)


By Way Of Introduction

February 27th, 2011

Good evening, reader. Thank you for your viewing of this blog. For the uninitiated, I will attempt to describe myself and what I do. This will not be brief.


I am the Kentucky Prophet. I live in Fordsville, Kentucky so don’t think I’m some carpetbagger who pretends to be from somewhere else in order to gain credibility. Take that, Bay City Rollers.


I’m thirty-three years old. The window for hooking up with 19-21 year-old girls is completely shut, and that makes me sad. I am a single, childless white male. This is not particularly surprising, since I am also very overweight. Not to say that obese people can’t find romantic love, but the odds come down significantly if they were as brood-y and anti-social as I am.


Once upon a time, I was on a TV show called “Beat The Geeks”. It was a pop culture quiz show on Comedy Central that ran for two seasons, of which I was on a fraction of the second season. The producers of that show went on to do “The Surreal Life” and “Flavor Of Love” because there’s no justice in the world.


Despite what you may think, one cannot live on royalties from a basic-cable show that ran nearly ten years ago so I went into other fields of work. For many years, I have performed music, recording and performing to small batches of lucky and/or confused onlookers.


As Kentucky Prophet, I have recorded a full-length CD and a six-song EP of hip-hop/r&b-inspired funny songs. Recently, I have moved from this genre into singer-songwritery funny songs. I have no idea what the future will hold for this artistic change, but I’m enjoying it so far.


I am also the lead singer for a five-piece band called Technology Vs. Horse. We have been together in one form or another since 2004, releasing three (soon to be four) CDs. You will be hearing more about them and my solo work as Kentucky Prophet as this blog continues.


Another thing you will read about if you hang around long enough is the subject of WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK ROLLER DERBY. Occasionally, I can be found announcing for the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana, straight outta the tropical climes of Evansville (the River City) in an indoor hockey arena. This year I will begin my second year of calling bouts. Somehow I’ve managed not to drool on the microphone in a frenzy of unbridled lust for at least three skaters on the team. But I am, alas, a professional.


AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH! I have maintained a blog at Velocity, the Louisville-based, Gannett-owned local entertainment weekly for nearly three years. I will be talking more about that experience in a future post.


I am, in summary, a lover of good music and sweaty women. A conjurer of the improbable and master of the unprofitable. I have urinated all over this Internet in a vain attempt to mark territory. But that’s not necessary anymore. Because I’ve moved into this, my new space. It’s mine, all mine.


Welcome. We’re all friends here. Except for the bots in the comment section. But that is to be expected.