Good evening, reader. Thank you for your viewing of this blog. For the uninitiated, I will attempt to describe myself and what I do. This will not be brief.
I am the Kentucky Prophet. I live in Fordsville, Kentucky so don’t think I’m some carpetbagger who pretends to be from somewhere else in order to gain credibility. Take that, Bay City Rollers.
I’m thirty-three years old. The window for hooking up with 19-21 year-old girls is completely shut, and that makes me sad. I am a single, childless white male. This is not particularly surprising, since I am also very overweight. Not to say that obese people can’t find romantic love, but the odds come down significantly if they were as brood-y and anti-social as I am.
Once upon a time, I was on a TV show called “Beat The Geeks”. It was a pop culture quiz show on Comedy Central that ran for two seasons, of which I was on a fraction of the second season. The producers of that show went on to do “The Surreal Life” and “Flavor Of Love” because there’s no justice in the world.
Despite what you may think, one cannot live on royalties from a basic-cable show that ran nearly ten years ago so I went into other fields of work. For many years, I have performed music, recording and performing to small batches of lucky and/or confused onlookers.
As Kentucky Prophet, I have recorded a full-length CD and a six-song EP of hip-hop/r&b-inspired funny songs. Recently, I have moved from this genre into singer-songwritery funny songs. I have no idea what the future will hold for this artistic change, but I’m enjoying it so far.
I am also the lead singer for a five-piece band called Technology Vs. Horse. We have been together in one form or another since 2004, releasing three (soon to be four) CDs. You will be hearing more about them and my solo work as Kentucky Prophet as this blog continues.
Another thing you will read about if you hang around long enough is the subject of WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK ROLLER DERBY. Occasionally, I can be found announcing for the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana, straight outta the tropical climes of Evansville (the River City) in an indoor hockey arena. This year I will begin my second year of calling bouts. Somehow I’ve managed not to drool on the microphone in a frenzy of unbridled lust for at least three skaters on the team. But I am, alas, a professional.
AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH! I have maintained a blog at Velocity, the Louisville-based, Gannett-owned local entertainment weekly for nearly three years. I will be talking more about that experience in a future post.
I am, in summary, a lover of good music and sweaty women. A conjurer of the improbable and master of the unprofitable. I have urinated all over this Internet in a vain attempt to mark territory. But that’s not necessary anymore. Because I’ve moved into this, my new space. It’s mine, all mine.
Welcome. We’re all friends here. Except for the bots in the comment section. But that is to be expected.