I don’t know if I can call this a proper review. Just some scattered thoughts.

• Some context: I found out about Daft Punk through the video to “Around The World” whereupon I went to a music store and bought the Homework album in 1997. I had no idea what the rest of the album would sound like. I had no guarantee that I would like it. I liked a lot of Homework but at times I found it to be too much. I would go on to feel this way about their next two albums.
• I am not considering Daft Punk’s score for the Tron: Legacy movie when putting these thoughts, nor do I think of it in the context of Daft Punk’s greater output. I consider it a one-off like Queen had with Flash Gordon, even if Daft Punk and/or their fans don’t.
• So far I’ve gone three bullet points without talking about what their new album Random Access Memories sounds like. I should really be writing for Pitchfork at this pace.
• “Touch” is by far the best track on the new album. Consider that the best track on the album was co-written and sung by a 71-year-old man who co-wrote the theme to The Love Boat.
• Since Paul Williams is seventy-one, we should take some time to tell him how much we appreciate him while he’s still around.
• I love how “Touch” is sequenced in between two songs sung by Pharrell Williams (no relation to Paul), a man who should not be allowed near a microphone for the purposes of singing. I also love how Pharrell’s vocals are the least electronically-treated vocals on the entire album. The worst singer on the album (including Daft Punk) is barely vocoded or whatever it is they do. I also love how the songs that Pharrell sings (“Get Lucky” and “Lose Yourself To Dance”) are nowhere near the worst thing on the album.
• Speaking of “worst thing on the album,” Julian Casablancas of the Strokes should be fed to a woodchipper.
• I can’t scientifically prove it but I’m certain there are more lyrics on this Daft Punk album then there were on the previous three combined.
• There are three great songs on this album: “Touch”, “Giorgio By Moroder” and “Contact”. There might be a few good ones, depending on your individual tastes. If you like “Get Lucky”, you’ll probably like “Lose Yourself To Dance” as well. You might like the opening track “Give Life Back To Music”. Do you like Panda Bear? You might think “Doin’ It Right” is good because he sings on it. Same goes with “Instant Crush” and Julian Casablancas in which case YOU ARE WRONG GIVE UP.
• Daft Punk modeled their new album after classic rock like Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon and Hotel California by The Eagles. Why? I’m being serious. Go to the Wikipedia for Random Access Memories (which has almost as many references as the OJ Simpson trial, another shitty thing that happened in California) and read for yourself. They really wanted to make an album like Fleetwood Mac and the Eagles. I don’t know why they threw Pink Floyd in there unless their goal is to make one of the best-selling albums of all time, which those three are certainly on the list.
• Prediction: Random Access Memories will probably not become one of the best-selling records of all time. Or the decade. This year, maybe.
• ATTENTION DAFT PUNK AND EVERYONE ELSE: NOBODY NEEDS MORE NEW MUSIC INSPIRED BY THE EAGLES AND FLEETWOOD MAC!
• Fuck it. I’ve decided to sing on a dubstep remake of “Go Your Own Way”. Maybe I’ll do a chillwave version of “Tequila Sunrise”. What’s to stop me anymore? Has the whole world gone crazy?
• I admit I’m being harsh on Julian but egad that song is terrible.

Tags: Daft Punk, music
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Guys don’t make mixtapes for other dudes. I assume. Maybe the gay guys do. Can’t discount them, no you can’t. No 20% off the homo-men.

Let’s do this. November Youtube Mixtape that I’m making for girls. This goes out to all of you. I love you. Let’s put our fingers in each other. You’ll get about eighty minutes of Youtube links and that’s it.

1. King Crimson, “Starless” (12.19)

A good way to start a mixtape is with a track that ended the actual album it was released on. You’re welcome. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if I decided to post a few really long songs on this like a lazy bum even though this was my idea and I have no obligation to do this.

2. Tom Waits, “Rainbirds” (3.15)

I just wanted to prove before things get out of hand that I sometimes listen to music created after 1980. This is another song that concludes an album. Also, an instrumental.

3. The Delfonics, “Didn’t I Blow Your Mind This Time” (3.34)

No, this is not that song from that Tarantino movie (yes it is). Shut up, bitch.

4. Jim Balcom, “Corrido Rock” (2.18)

Another instrumental, but it’s festive. How long will it take before I post Thomas Edison’s wire recordings?

5. Joe Cocker, “Woman To Woman” (4.28)

No, this is not the song from that Dr. Dre and 2Pac joint. Girl, you so stupid. By the way, I enjoy how (apart from “woman to woman”) Joe Cocker sings this without using a single word of English.

6. Loose Joints, “Is It All Over My Face” (11.57)

I know I posted this a few weeks ago, but I might as well put this in here. You’re getting some long tracks because fuck it that’s why. I don’t need a reason. Let’s dance and then let me put my hands in your pants.

Yes, you will be saying this song title later but in a different context.

7. National Lampoon, “Deteriorata” (4.19)

You’re doomed. Your life is over. Enjoy it. You are a fluke a the universe. You have no right to be here. Want me to take my cock out?

8. George Clinton, “Atomic Dog” (4.15)

Girl, this is NOT a cover of that Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg song. Are you gonna let me put my tongue in there or not?

9. SSION, “My Love Grows In The Dark” (3.54)

I am contractually bound to post something from this century. How do you feel about anal play? What if you do it to me first?

10. Marvin Gaye, “After The Dance” (5.12)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0KFRp3CMVg

Okay, we should definitely be having sex right now. I should have all my urine in your anal cavity or at least a good amount thereof. That’s how sex is done, right?

11. Nine Inch Nails, “The Perfect Drug” (5.21)

I would have posted a song from The Downward Spiral but that’s more of a gangbang album than a one-on-one sex album. I know this because of some videos I’ve seen on Xhamster.

12. R. Stevie Moore, “Answers” (3.30)

Would you hurry up and cum already? My hand is getting tired. You know what? Go ahead and get your Wand. Call out your uncle’s name for all I care.

13. Residents, “Six Things To A Cycle” (17.47)

Here’s what I play when I want to get rid of the girl after sex even if I’m at her house. If she stays and listens, second date. If she really likes it and wants to hear more, marriage material.

Tags: absurdity, love, music, R. Stevie Moore, sex
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So here’s some relevant information in regards to actual Kentucky Prophet music that you may one day be able to hear. Last week, we had a recording session and cut drum tracks for six songs. Bearing that in mind, we are actually in the home stretch of finishing this album.

There are eleven songs that have been recorded for this album. All of them will probably end up on the album. Front to back, the total running time on the album will likely be about thirty-five minutes. It’s not a long album. I need to go re-record some fresh vocals on some songs before it’s done in the classic sense.

Also, I still don’t have an album title. I have several different ideas for album titles but don’t like any of them. It’s never too late for me to go with the self-titled route. No one does that any more.

Tags: Kentucky Prophet, music
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David Lowery of Cracker wrote a thing that infuriated me. And this is how I responded on Twitter. To my knowledge, he doesn’t have a Twitter so I didn’t include an @. There is an @davidlowery but it’s not him. So some poor son of a gun got a torrent of hate he didn’t deserve from a lot of people.

If you find yourself compelled to find out just provoked this, you can find his blog online. I won’t link it. I don’t want to give him any more page views. I’m putting my response here because I want to post this in more than one forum for posterity.

• David Lowery says that if more people had bought Vic Chestnut and Sparklehorse CDs, maybe they’d have more money and not killed themselves
• Like there were lots more people clamoring for their music than who actually bought it.
• Fewer consumers have attachment to music because there is too much of it. More new stuff all the time. We can stop now.
• Music is like porn. We can actually stop making it as a whole for a few years if we want to. It’s not like we’d miss it.
• There’s a bunch of stuff we haven’t heard yet that’s worth discovering. From years and decades past. And yet we crank it out like idiots.
• Trust me, I’ve self-released eight albums (six of which I’m not completely embarrased by). Nobody needed any of it, but I needed to do it.
• And I needed an audience to hear it. Did the small following I have/had support me? Yes, they have in their own way.
• I can’t profess to know either Chestnut or Linkous at all, let alone like Lowery did. But to suggest that we as listeners let them down…
• How asinine can you be? You wouldn’t accuse anyone close to them of letting them down. People who actually had an impact on their lives.
• “Of the 75,000 albums released in 2010 only 2,000 sold more than 5,000 copies” HOW MANY OF THEM DO YOU WANT ME TO BUY, FUCKDICK?
• “Recorded music revenue is down 64% since 1999.” GAS COST $1.10 A GALLON IN 1999. WHAT SHOULD I BUY? GAS FOR WORK OR NEW LANA DEL REY? HMM..
• David Lowery basically spent 2500 words telling off a 21-year-old girl. Fuck him in his paternalistic face.
• His opening sentence: “My intention here is not to shame you or embarrass you.” And yet there’s a dissertation to follow.
• “I’ve been teaching… about the economics of the music business at U. of Georgia for the last two years.” YOU LOVE TO HEAR YOURSELF TALK.
• If I had never released any of my work, a few people might have been disappointed. That’s no reason to inflict it on the greater whole.
• I’m not going to beg people to buy my music. If they want to, great. If not, fine. BECAUSE MOST THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MUSIC.
• Car payment? Insurance? Water bill? Metro card? Getting a new smartphone? ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY/ANYONE’S MUSIC.
• I have been downloading Cracker albums all day. Not even listening to them, just to be a prick.

Tags: music
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I’ve broken at least the first two rules. Ron Mael is the keyboardist and main composer for Sparks. P.S. I’ve definitely broken the fourth rule. I love breaking rule #4.

Tags: absurdity, music
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You should know by now if you don’t already that I can be incredibly jealous. This is especially true as I’m a musician and live performer. I am jealous right now because Sleeper/Agent will be performing on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon in less than an hour as I write this.
I should say right here that I have no ill will towards Sleeper/Agent. Tony Smith once filled in for me for a song at a TVH show. Both Tony and Alex booked TVH at a now-defunct coffeehouse they worked at. Once upon a time, I went on Myspace and claimed that Justin Wilson ate school glue but that was many years ago and for all I know he’s recovered from that damning accusation.

But I am jealous of them right now. There are about four going on five Bowling Green-related bands I am jealous on in one way or another way. All of them formed after TVH did but all of them with far greater public acclaim. This band’s on Jimmy Fallon, that band’s on Conan, this other band’s on Letterman for the second time. How could I not be jealous of these bands a little bit? Can I be truly happy for them?

I don’t even know if it’s a matter of deserving anything or not. It’s certainly not that they don’t deserve it. I’m just jealous. I’m jealous of the bands playing those shows that aren’t from Bowling Green, too. I was jealous of that band Karmin that played Saturday Night Live. But there’s a sick tinge of guilt in my jealousy when the band on TV is a hometown outfit. A sick, sour tinge.

Tags: dreams, music
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Young Mary, a friend to this blog, is presenting Third Man recording artists The Black Belles on March 31st in Bowling Green, Kentucky. I’m trying to do my part to beat the drum for Young Mary to make this the first can’t-miss event of Spring 2012!

You’re looking at the poster, going “Dayum! That’s a nice poster! And The Black Shades and Televermin are playing too? I love those bands! And PATSON? That crazy mofo? He’s for sure playing, too.

The Black Belles were discovered by Jack White and signed to his label, Third Man, where they have released an album and performed on a single with Stephen Colbert that they backed him up on live on The Colbert Report.

This is a great opportunity! See the Black Belles in concert! Ask them what Stephen Colbert smells like! Ask them to show you Jack White’s name written in blood (all record contracts have this – standard industry practice)! See the White Str-…er, Black Shades, Televermin and the one-man whirlwind that is PATSON! All in one night. March 31st. Hell yes! I will actually attend this event.

Tags: Bowling Green, music, show alert
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As I type this, the 127th annual Grammy Awards for Exceptional Music is going on live television. The Musical Academy of Dark Arts and Pseudo-Sciences has decided to gin up a ceremony with the biggest pop stars of the last twelve months in order to pop a big rating on a major network. And once again, I could give a fuck less because if it were really all about music art and science then Frank Zappa would still be winning awards even though he’s been dead for nearly twenty years now.

This evening I watched a bit of the pre-show red carpet thing with my grandmother as she struggled with a piece of velcro. I found this almost as frustrating as watching the Super Bowl with my mother the previous week. I want to say family bonding time is overrated but I know I’ll miss them when they’re dead so I won’t.

I hate the Grammys. Music I don’t like made by people I’ll never fuck. I don’t need to watch live TV for surprises and shocks because last week I saw a clown fuck a shemale. I’m good on shock and surprise until at least April.

Who's on top? Who's on bottom? Who's on first?

I should add that I didn’t watch the clown/shemale thing on video. I saw it live in person at the Twisted Tap in Bowling Green, your number one hotspot for clown/shemale erotica. Dress up in your floppy shoes and bustier; tell Marc that Mike Farmer sent ya.

Tags: absurdity, Grammys, music
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NOTE: I originally wrote this in preparation for a piece on Velocity’s blog. When I stopped writing for them, they took it down. Their loss. Here is what I have left of the original draft, edited for relevance. At the time, RSM was in the midst of a Kickstarter finance campaign for an album called Advanced. That album is now available for your purchase. Since I wrote this originally a year ago, RSM has been on his first ever full-scale US tour and multiple dates.  He has a bigger profile than ever. Those of us who knew screamed from the mountaintops until people listened for themselves. You want to see a fifty-nine year-old achieving his dream of becoming a rock star, especially when he’s been at it for over forty years. This was posted 1/11/11 or so.

Robert Steven Moore, baby-boomer, baby-boomerang. Son of Bob Moore, a legendary Nashville musician who played on some Elvis records. Born in Nashville, moved to New Jersey in his 20s, returned to Nashville very recently. Since the age of sixteen, he has recorded thousands of songs. He is a pioneer in the field of home recording and can play at least a dozen different musical instruments. Apart from the occasional love-letter blog (like this one) or magazine article, R. Stevie Moore is not famous because he’s been too busy writing and recording to maintain a “career”.

Charles Bukowski’s short story “Would You Suggest Writing As A Career?” >>> Buk is the guest of honor at a university where he is to give a reading and a Q&A. One of the students asks him the titular question. Buk was too busy drinking and writing to have a “career”. If you told Bukowski how important networking was, you’d be stupid. Networking may be important but it’s nowhere near as important as WORKING ON YOUR CRAFT, FOR JESUS’ SAKE!!! Must I yell this from the top of the highest mountain on the world’s largest megaphone?

Some of the most successful people in entertainment have networked their way into it. I once saw Dave Navarro on TV wearing a shirt that read “Talentless But Connected” and that might sum up more of popular music over the last thirty years than anything I think of. Oh hell, let’s just lump all of popular entertainment in there. Especially film. Bukowski did what pleased him, and that was drinking, screwing, gambling on horse races and writing. That’s not a career, that’s just what he did. Which is what R. Stevie Moore continues to do, at least when it comes to music and probably not when it comes to horse racing.

Let’s talk about the strangeness of all this prolificness and archivery (I made that word up). Long before an iTunes, long before any Napster, there was R. Stevie Moore’s Cassette Club, with hundreds of selections. Youthful experimental music, strange skits, a radio play about the music business “Apologies To Mr. Gottlieb”, and yes, thousands of songs. Several times, indie record labels have attempted to compile the finest, most melodic musical flowers of RSM. I would suggest “Meet The R. Stevie Moore” for the uninitiated.

As if that weren’t enough, RSM finally burned out on writing and recording in the late 80s and started making his own music videos. For songs that had been recorded years earlier, decades earlier for some. I know he has more than one Youtube account, but “autosam” has at least 165 videos to accompany his songs. The videos are so lo-fi they make the music sound like a Spector production. Mostly camcorder weirdness shot around his NJ apartment.  And there was no Youtube in 1989, no way MTV would play this stuff not even on 120 Minutes. R. Stevie Moore could not have possibly forseen a forum where his videos could be seen by people all over the world with one click. Is there any explanation that would make sense besides “why not”? It’s not like he had a career, much like Bukowski. No folks, what R. Stevie Moore had/has/now&forever is a PASSION!

It is PASSION that compels the music maker. And it is why we keep going, why we sometimes throw good money after bad, why we take risks and follow our muse. There is no point in playing the game when the game does not explicitly involve the thing you love to do. “NETWORKING” is a word I hate with the fury of a thousand volcanoes. I am not advocating being an island unto yourself. I am saying that I don’t want to network unless it’s with people who could and want to help bring a musical vision to life! This is what the PASSION is all about, and Mr. Moore has somehow managed to fuel his long before most of us were a gleam in our parents’ eyes.

R. Stevie Moore returned to music making after a few years and the world is a better place for it. Fifty-eight years old, back in his hometown. It is hoped that his return home will allow him to finally gain the reverence he deserves.

Tags: music
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Last night, Russell and I worked on a song. It was fantastic. We worked on what will hopefully be the first of enough songs for an album of my original material. It’s another run at what was Untitled Kentucky Prophet Album TBA 2011 and what is now Untitled Kentucky Prophet Album TBA 2012.

There’s about ten songs I wanted to record for UKPATBA2K12 and we’ve only just begun. Owing to the busy schedules of all involved, we’ll be lucky to meet once a week. I don’t know what the holidays will be like. Hopefully, we’ll get to meet once a week, one song a week.

Last night we did a thing that sounds like The Stooges with synths. When I demoed the song for Russell, I told him it should sound like Lady Gaga playing with Neil Young and Crazy Horse. He told me he couldn’t imagine what that would sound like.

I’ve been a prolific son of a gun. Russell and I wrote a Christmas song for a parody video. That will be recorded in a few weeks and it will be like “We Are The World”, only wrong and strange. We’re trying to get all the Bowling Green people involved in it, like USA For AFRICA.

I’m also writing erotica. That’s a different story for a different day, under a pseudonym.

Tags: Kentucky Prophet, music
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