Posts Tagged ‘mma’

No Thanks, Ronda

March 1st, 2015

Ronda Rousey is a pro MMA fighter, a UFC champion, a star in her field. Some people find her sexy.

 

Mixed martial arts fighter UFC bantamweight champion, Ronda Rousey poses during a weight in at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Calif., Friday, Feb. 22, 2013. Rousey will face off Liz Carmouche in the main event at UFC 157 at the Honda Center on Saturday Feb. 23, in the first women's bout in the UFC promotion's history.(AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes) ORG XMIT: CADD109

 

Not me. Ronda Rousey scares me. Ronda Rousey could rip my arm out of socket and beat me over the head with it. I can’t work up a boner thinking about someone who could kill me.

 

I’m not saying she isn’t pretty. I can certainly see why someone would find her attractive. But I look at her and I can’t imagine her on top of me smothering me with kisses. If you can, please illustrate it and send it to me.

 

For the people who have more imagination that I do, what is the appeal? Is it that she’s a pretty girl? Is it that she’s a pretty girl who can beat you up? Do you want her to beat you up? Or do you want to be the one to tame the wild beast with your inflammed genitalia? You too, girls.

 

This is one of those moments that reminds me that what gets people aroused is staggering. Some people seek someone to dominate them. Some seek to dominate. Some want to dress up like animals. Some people masturbate to “My Little Pony”. Some people are chubby chasers and those are the most frightening of all.

 

My fantasies are dialed down. Give me someone who has a flaw or two. Give me a girl who is pretty but not too pretty. Not some inhumanly hot chick who makes me loath myself even more than usual. Especially if they could kill me like I was in the movie Species.

New Concept for UFC

February 18th, 2015

With a foot of snow outside, I have taken to messing around with new concepts at home rather than venturing out to live life. You’ll forgive me for spitballing, I hope.

 

I’m going to talk about UFC and testing for PED’s (performance enhancing drugs) so if you’re not up on the subject you can start by reading this article about UFC’s current woes in the matter. If you want the tl;dr version I’ll sum it up by saying that enough of the high-profile fighters are getting popped for positive tests and it is becoming a problem for the league, fighters that don’t use PED’s, fans and critics who doubt the legitimacy of the sport and its’ attempts to regulate against those who violate PED laws.

 

Steroids and HGH have long been a problem in sports. Look no further than MLB which almost cannibalized itself trying to remove PED’s from the sport. The NFL also has a problem with PED’s, but it would seem that they unofficially look at it as a problem of players getting caught taking such, not using. The advantage that UFC and the sport of mixed-martial arts have over the other major sports leagues is that it is an individual sport. If a UFC fighter gets suspended, it will not affect his teammates because he doesn’t have teammates like a baseball or football team.

 

There has to be a better way to deal with the PED’s issue. Fighters who use will justify using. Fighters who don’t use feel righteous by comparison. So here’s my idea. Split the divisions in UFC to accommodate both. You have a league of fighters who use and a league of those who do not.

 

What I am suggesting is largely impractical, I admit. Just hear me out. UFC can have two different brands, a brand featuring clean fighters (call it UFC RAW) and another brand about those who are unashamed and feel justified in PED’s use (call it UFC SMACKDOWN). The RAW fighters compete against each other, and the SMACKDOWN guys do the same. Never shall the twain meet in the UFC octagon.

 

If a clean RAW fighter tests positive for PED’s, then they would be suspended for a period of time and then have to re-debut for the other SMACKDOWN brand. Pay fighters more for RAW fights to give incentive for staying clean. Any using SMACKDOWN fighter assumes risks for their use, as well as their opponents who are aware of what the guy across the octagon is doing.

 

I already assume this proposal has been considered and rejected.