Posts Tagged ‘Kentucky Prophet’

What Happened Here?

March 19th, 2017

You are wreckage. What happened here? How did you get here?



You had a thing that you loved doing. You had your passion. You did it because you HAD to do it. And when somebody has to do something, that’s all the reason they need. They don’t stress too hard on what other people think.


You said to yourself, “no one will miss me if I stop doing this, the world will continue”. Which is true. But did you stop to think whether or not YOU would continue.


More importantly, you took this major plank out of your life. What did you replace it with? You didn’t. That’s just it. You don’t play shows anymore. You don’t have a band anymore. You don’t stand on stage and sing anymore. What happened here? Why did you stop? Who cared what they thought? Why do you care so much about “them” anyway?



The closer I got to exposing my true self, the more I felt out of step with the world around me. I was a great jester. I am a funny guy when I want to be. You ever hear that song “Tears of a clown”? There you go. I don’t want to put myself out there in bars and clubs while people are trying to have a good time and have a few drinks, pick up somebody to have sex with, shoot pool with, talk trash with, take selfies with. I am not the good time entertainer for them anymore and I don’t want to be. They’re not wrong for wanting to have a good time, just as I am not wrong for not wanting to not play for them. When our paths have crossed it has not gone well. They talk to me, they always want to have a dialogue with me. They puncture the atmosphere that I try to create. It’s too uncomfortable for them. 


I’m not an entertainer anymore. What I want to do isn’t feasible. Anything can stop me now. 


I Am No Dylan

May 6th, 2015

Bob Dylan is a very fascinating songwriter. So much that there are eleven in a “Bootleg Series” of unreleased material. Bob Dylan is so fascinating that people want to hear the songs that weren’t deemed good enough for an official album (of which there are three dozen).


Last week I considered releasing an album of unreleased demos. Rap songs from 2002-2009. I was going to release it either on Bandcamp or Soundcloud.


Then I actually listened to these songs. Boy oh boy oh boy. These songs are not worthy of release. Now that I think about it, they weren’t worthy of being recorded. They shouldn’t even have been written.


The blame for this is on me. My lyrics. The ideas in my lyrics. My stars. What a terrible execution on my part. It would be a disservice to the people who produced and collaborated with me on this music to let it out and give them credit for it.


Think about those old pictures of your folks wearing tacky clothes from the 70s or early 80s. Now imagine that instead of wearing silly clothes, they’re blowing a dog. That’s what this music sounds like. My unreleased songs sound like your parents blowing a dog. Metaphorically.

There’s One In Every Crowd

February 28th, 2015

Last night I played a gig in Evansville. It was alright. I played a lot of my saddest material and thoroughly bummed people out. I played a few funny songs, so it was a even mix of levity and lethargy.


I am haunted. There’s a phenomenon that occurs every time I play a show. Every time I play show I have to contend with a drunky, mouthy girl who can’t shut up already.


Let’s try not to use the b-word, the c-word or the wh-word when talking about this girl, even though sometimes she may act like one. Let’s just call her what she is: “Legion”. Legion is at every show I do, drinking and having a good time. I like to talk to the audience. Legion thinks I am initiating a conversation. I am not initiating a conversation. I’m performing. I’m trying to maintain an atmosphere that the listener can get into. If they dip out for a smoke and come back or leave entirely, that’s their business and right. But Legion thinks we are talking, maybe because that’s what happens when Legion goes out drinking and has too much.


There is such a thing as Guy Legion, don’t get me wrong. Usually Guy Legion is pretty easy to pipe down after he’s been answered. But Girl Legion can’t pipe down. Because she’s drunk. If alcohol truly took people’s inhibitions away, more people would be nude or semi-nude in bars and then everyone with eyes would have a nightmare. But booze doesn’t bring out Legion’s inhibitions. Rather, alcohol makes the self-consciousness fade away and reduces social cue reading so Legion just talks and answers back like it’s a Q-and-A because she doesn’t have that sensor active that says “CAUTION: BEING ANNOYING”.


Comedians gripe about this a lot. Fortunately, I can play a song when it gets out of control. All comedians have is their jokes and the mic. Comedians may engage a heckler but Girl Legion is pretty hard to shut down because they tend to be good at filibustering in arguments with boyfriends. Legion applies the relationship argue technique in a situation where it isn’t appropriate because the booze has diminished her self-consciousness and good sense.


What am I supposed to do? I’ve graduated from shouting at them to just letting them do their thing. Why should I engage them in a contest to see who’s the bigger asshole? Besides, between the two of us I’m the only one who knows  when I’m actually being one.

“Dolphin”: Clearing Out The Cache

November 25th, 2014


Dolphin is the name of the new Kentucky Prophet album.


This is the link where you can get it.

There are ten tracks. Each of the ten tracks have that cute dolphin picture at the top. All of the tracks can be streamed. Some of them can be downloaded. Since we live in a digital era, you can conjure up your own track order.


These songs were recorded in 2012 or thereabouts and were recorded by Russell Brooks, who also played on all the tracks. Sometimes he played guitar or bass or made a beat in MIDI. Sometimes he did other stuff. He recruited Nick Clark to play drums on some of the tracks and Shelby Smith to play guitar on a few numbers.


Keeping in mind the spirit of this holiday season, I am thankful to Russell, Nick and Shelby for their considerable help. I am also thankful to you for your listening and patronage. I hope you enjoy Dolphin.


UPDATE: The Dolphin update was just retweeted by Cage The Elephant. @CageTheElephant on Twitter. Over 1 million followers. Not exactly lightweights.

Going Iggy-Like At the Pizza Place

October 6th, 2014

Kentucky Prophet went through a lengthy period of bad gigs up until I put the project on hiatus in 2011. Or 2009. I can’t remember, it’s been so long. Part of the problem is that I would take a gig practically anywhere I was invited and that includes Evansville, Indiana.


One Evansville shitshow was at Muncheeze Pizza. I don’t know if the place is still open or not. Playing for so few disinterested people I snapped and went Iggy Pop on them. Not full-blown Iggy Pop where I flopped my dick out and banged it against the oregano shakers but rolling around and generally making everyone uncomfortable. I’d give my performance 6.5 out of 10 Iggys.


I had a button-up shirt. That came unbuttoned. As I mentioned, I rolled around in the floor mostly in front of an increasingly horrified party of six people. I have a tendency to ruin people’s days when they have no idea what they are in for. One time I ruined a couple’s first date when they arrived at a coffeehouse gig in Bowling Green, Kentucky. This time I rolled around for about two songs. Then I got up and poured myself into one of the nearby chairs and began rolling my belly fat around in my hand (since my shirt was unbuttoned) right in front on them. Then I rolled around and thrashed a little more. I probably screamed a little bit. I think I played six songs. Long enough to burn myself in everyone’s mind and embarrass myself. This was another gig that left me screaming at myself all the way in home in the car.


All in all I’d give myself 6.5 Iggys and 8 out of 10 Jim Morrisons.

Recording New Songs

December 31st, 2013

I spent the last two days recording new material in a secret location in Western Kentucky.


A lot of weird synth sounds, experiments with dubstep, samples of esoteric composers like Philip Glass, Charles Ives and Conlon Nancarrow. Car horn (my car, a 1999 Town Car) used in musique concrete, along with untraditional acoustic instruments like bouzouki and klezmer-horn and steampunked-tuba/balalakia.


Here are some of the song titles that you may not hear in 2014 because I scrapped the project for being too personally revealing.


  • “Let’s Fight Drunk Driving (With Robocop)”
  • “Just Like ‘Just Like Paradise’ by David Lee Roth”
  • “Chicken Woman On TV”
  • “Are You Bleeding? (You Better Not Be Bleeding!)”
  • “Your App Is Wack”
  • “Dragon Dragon”
  • “I am A Cat”
  • “The Price Of Oil On Christmas Day”


CONFESSION: Only three of these are titles to real songs. See if you can guess which ones they are.


ALSO: None of the real songs on this list were actually recorded. Also none of the experimental stuff I mentioned earlier was done. No car horn, no synths, no dubstep, no steampunk tuba thingamajig. Lies, all lies. I did some recording though, that much is true. I played the piano. Nothing more, nothing less.

I Have New Material (My Set List)

April 29th, 2013

Here is a list of songs I may or may not be playing at the show tomorrow night, which has been moved to Zanzabar and will be headlined by Andy D. Be warned, I’ve made some of these song titles up.

  1. Night People (Electro Remix) – This is used as an opener crowd-hype intro.
  2. Electric Eeyore Intercourse Junction – my first foray into dubstep
  3. The Concept Of U – Not a Prince tribute, despite the title
  4. Mountain Music – a piano ballad about well-wishes for an elderly man
  5. Normal Love – an old ballad
  6. Night People (Dubstep Remix of the Electro Remix) – a half-time keep-the-crowd hyped piece
  7. Cornbread – a dancehall reggae song, accidentally racist
  8. Die Alone – probably won’t play this one
  9. When I Think About You I Get Sticky – This one would make girls cry if a cuter guy sang it.
  10. GAY 4 LUV – Protest rock. Lady Gaga meets Iggy & The Stooges
  11. Kandy Korn Palace – psychedelic sample masterpiece of hip-pop
  12. Woman & Her Clothes – an aggressive folk song
  13. Night People (Trap Remix of Dubstep Remix of Electro Remix) – closing theme.

The Five Oddest Songs I’ve Ever Released

March 11th, 2013

“Holland” (2002). Over a lazy hip-hop beat, I spin a tale of a quadriplegic shut-in bird watcher. The song’s chorus consists of many overdubbed cuckoos.


“Tears In Heaven” (2005). In ninety-seven seconds, TvH mangled an award-winning song while I made fun of Eric Clapton’s dead kid for falling out of a window. That was the first song on the first Technology Vs. Horse album.


“I Sell Drugs To Celebrities” (2007). Sampled Donovan, the first major British rock star to be busted for drugs. Alliteration. Celebrities. A CIA conspiracy. An outro scat tribute to outsider artist Shooby “The Human Horn” Taylor.


“Hold The Bear Close To The Lightning” (2007). Odd for the way it was composed. I had a dream that TvH and I were making up song titles and this was one of them. Then I wrote a set of lyrics for this song and took it to the band, who had no idea what I was talking about.


“Teenage Funk” (2011). TvH plays a RATM-like funk-metal thing while I mutter incoherently like a Monty Python caricature of an old English blueblood stumbling through an evening newscast. Are there lyrics? You decide.

Another KP music update

July 16th, 2012

So here’s some relevant information in regards to actual Kentucky Prophet music that you may one day be able to hear. Last week, we had a recording session and cut drum tracks for six songs. Bearing that in mind, we are actually in the home stretch of finishing this album.


There are eleven songs that have been recorded for this album. All of them will probably end up on the album. Front to back, the total running time on the album will likely be about thirty-five minutes. It’s not a long album. I need to go re-record some fresh vocals on some songs before it’s done in the classic sense.


Also, I still don’t have an album title. I have several different ideas for album titles but don’t like any of them. It’s never too late for me to go with the self-titled route. No one does that any more.

KP Album Update

February 14th, 2012

So here’s where I stand with Kentucky Prophet Album TBD 2012.


All ten songs have been demoed.


Wait, what? Didn’t you tell us this last summer? You demoed ten songs last year? What the hell? How long is this album is this album going to take? You owe us a double-album at this point! GRRRRR! MAD NOW!


First. . . yes, I did some recordings last summer. They didn’t turn out well, not at all. I thought I could record an album in a day, and while that’s certainly possible there’s no way it will be a good album. So yes, I demoed ten songs in summer 2011, and I demoed ten songs in December and January.


So that’s twenty songs, right? DOUBLE ALBUM! MORE TAN A FEELIN’! tOM SAWYER IN THE lIMElIGHT? hell yes!


Nope. I’m sorry. This album is going to be a ten-song album. . . probably. And probably about a half-hour long front to back.


So did you demo the same songs again? The same ten songs? That’s stupid. You’re stupid. BRING BACK NICKLEBACK.


No. I’m sorry. They’re not the same song, except for three of them. Three songs that were demoed in the summer were re-demoed in the winter. The other seven from the summer session were thrown out. Because they’re not that good. Or they don’t work, or something.


When is this stupid album coming out?


Your guess is as good as mine.