Posts Tagged ‘Halloween’

A New Halloween Tradition

October 31st, 2016

Since I have moved to a new town, I guess it’s time to update my Halloween traditions. In Fordsville, my tradition was “not answer the door because nobody knocked on it wanting candy”. That was a blessing. It pays to be an unlikable hermit.

 

But now a new town requires a new tradition. These people don’t know that I’m an unlikable hermit. I’ve been here nearly a month? How can I possibly introduce myself to the community proper? I gots me a plan!

 

For all the kiddies who come to my door shouting “Trick or Treat” will be in for an immense treat, as I sit them each down to listen to this gem of a tune.

 

 

You want a treat? You’re gonna get a treat, goddammit. A little something from Abacab-era Genesis called “Paperlate”. Just sit there as I play this off my laptop speakers and get familiar with Phil and the boys. I am going to be the most popular debutante in all of Daviess County!

 

And then I’m going to yell at the kids’ parents to remember to vote for Rand Paul. Because it’s all about Rand Paul, who’s debating tonight. He’s only debating on Halloween because he didn’t want to embarrass his opponent on a night Kentuckians would be home to watch the debate.

 

I’ve come a long way from hating people who didn’t understand Zappa or the Beach Boys post-Pet Sounds albums.