Posts Tagged ‘congress’

The Fahrenheit 217

May 4th, 2017

Today, the House of Representatives voted 217-213 to approve H.R. 1628: The American Health Care Act of 2017. The repeal and replace of Obamacare and the attempt to institute Trumpcare.


Imagine replacing a car that needed maintenance with a car frame that looked great but didn’t have an engine at all. That’s essentially what you got with Trumpcare now. It will go to the Senate. I’m not positive that the Senate Republicans will vote this down. They might decide to throw a lighter into a jet engine and blow the whole thing up.


I’m too pissed off to actually give cogent analysis. So I’m going to just snap on the 217 assholes who decided to hurt their own constituents.

  • Brett Guthrie, I will vote against you in 2018. I will donate money to your general election opponent. I will piss in your boots if I see you. You are a partisan hack. You have no courage. You should be ashamed of yourself.
  • Andy Barr sounds like “candy bar” which is something a diabetic shouldn’t eat. I hope your cock gets gangrene, you future eunuch.
  • James Comer’s name is close to James Comey, the FBI director who feels mildly nauseous about having any impact on the 2016 election. I hope you feel nausea every time you try to raise campaign funds. I hope you vomit on the shoes of a Koch Brother.
  • Hal Rogers represents Harlan. I hope you get arrested for sex crimes.
  • I want to credit John Yarmuth and Thomas Massie (a Republican, nonetheless) for voting against this bullshit bill. 
  • Larry Buschon of Indiana. I hope you have to live in Indiana for the rest of your life.
  • Trey Hollingsworth of Indiana. I hope you die like a character in “Children Of The Corn”.
  • Steve King of Iowa. You’re one of the lowest form of life in Congress and that says a lot considering who your contemporaries. Nearly every time there’s a piece of garbage racist law brought up in the House, you either brought it up or co-sponsor it. I hope you fall into a paper shredder, and your remains are turned into low-grade toilet paper to be bought and used by the poor.
  • Mark Sanford of South Carolina, you know this bill is shit and you voted for it anyway. You should have stayed in Argentina with your mistress. Pull an Eva Peron and pass away prematurely.
  • Joe Wilson of South Carolina, you’re the guy who yelled “You lie” at Obama. You should have been kicked out of office years ago. You lie every day. I hope you get a kidney stone every day.
  • Jason Chaffetz of Utah, you are the lowest of the low. The biggest hypocrite of the bunch. You just had leg surgery. A pre-existing condition. And you voted to take away that protection for Americans. I hope you o.d. on pain meds, you big bag of oatmeal.
  • Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, the Speaker of the House. You did this just to save your job. You miserable prick. If we’re not all dead by 2018, you will be gone. I will donate to your opponent too. It won’t take much, which is a sentence you’ve probably told your wife plenty of times. You needledick, wannabe frat boy fuckboy. I hope you get a metal rod rammed up your pisshole.

You are the Fahrenheit 217 now. And you are going to be wiped out. If we still have elections a year-and-a-half from now. Maybe Dear Leader Trump will ban elections. I wouldn’t do that if I were him. We may just march on Washington, drag the bastard out of the White House and eat him alive. Just a fair warning.

Where Are You, Brett Guthrie?

April 12th, 2017

Kentucky’s second district is represented by Brett Guthrie, a Republican who has served since 2009. He is regarded as a “rank-and-file Republican” by based on his voting record. Guthrie is my congressman.


James Comer, a Republican representing Kentucky’s first district, is the congressman in what used to be my district. He will be having a town hall meeting tomorrow afternoon in Hartford, Kentucky. That’s in Ohio County, which used to be my home county until I moved to Whitesville last fall. I appreciate that Rep. Comer is having town hall meetings throughout the first district during the April recess.


Of course, I can’t help but wonder when Rep. Guthrie will start having some of his own. I’ve called his office and been referred to his website’s events page, which still has last summer’s meetings listed and nothing for 2017. Perhaps he will hold some meetings during a recess this summer. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.


But I am also aware of last night’s Kansas congressional runoff. In November, Mike Pompeo won re-election for his Kansas seat by thirty-one percent. When Trump took over in January, he appointed Pompeo to be the CIA director, which opened up the Kansas seat for a runoff. Which was won by. . . another Republican. Kansas state treasurer Ron Estes. Alas, Estes only defeated his Democratic opponent James Thompson by about six percentage points. James Thompson is a civil rights attorney with no political experience, while Estes had endorsements, appearances and robocalls from Ted Cruz, Mike Pence and Trump himself. And yet Estes only won by six points. Trump won that district in November by twenty-seven points.


In relative terms to conservative Kansan politics, that race was a squeaker. Imagine a twenty-four point swing within seven months. This should embolden the Democrats, who have more special elections in 2017 to pick up momentum before running a full-court press to take back the house in 2018.


Can Rep. Guthrie afford to lose twenty-four percentage points in a political campaign? If he’s biding his time until the summer to have town halls, then fair play to him. But if he’s hiding then it is a cowardly strategy. Make no headlines, make no public appearances. Don’t give the rabble a chance to yell at you. It’s sneakier than Speaker Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, who blew off four town halls to go to Disneyland.


It would be smart for him to let his constituents know if and when he’s going to meet with the public, or at least if he plans on doing so and approximately when in the future he aims to do so. Thus far, his appearances have been limited and on his terms.


Guthrie will have some things to answer for: voting along party lines to allow ISP to sell consumer info, voting to deregulate coal emission legislation, and voting against opening up access to Trump’s tax returns among other things. Not to mention that word that will haunt all the Republicans. . . Obamacare.

Unhinged Boy

February 27th, 2017

I am too unhinged to run for public office.


“It was not the first time in these chambers that one congressman referred to another as an ‘ill-begotten son-of-a-bitch’, nor was it the first time a congressman beat another congressman with a cane but Rep. Farmer’s actions mark the first and hopefully only time the sentence “I couldn’t beat off while thinking about your dead daughter, asshole” were entered into the Congressional Record.



“More than once the Speaker of the House had to instruct Rep. Farmer to ‘unclench your fists when you’re talking to me like this’. This proved to be his undoing when after the third warning, and it was also the undoing of Rep. Farmer’s right hand for which he is being treated at a local medical facility.”



“It was not the first time a member of Congress had been caught looking at pornography during a Committee hearing, but it was the first time the words “I really need to get laid” were muttered into an open microphone before being broadcast on C-SPAN and somehow entered into the Congressional Record.”



“Rep. Michael ‘I Really Need To Get Laid’ Farmer (D-Ky) had another one of his infamous outbursts during the State of The Union address last night when he shouted ‘Aw, c’mon godammit!’ during the President’s address. Before that, he had uttered aloud ‘Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Is he fuckin’ kiddin’ right now?’ and ‘I aint standin’ up, you stand up. I’m not standin’.”



A House Ethics Committee investigation into the eccentric behavior of Rep. Michael ‘I’m Not Standin’! You Stand Then!’ Farmer concludes with the determination that he should be censured for erratic outbursts in House sessions. ‘Am I gonna lose money over this’, Farmer asked after the investigation concluded.



Rep. Farmer Wikiquote:

  • “I will take my shirt off and stand here with my tits out if you think about passing this bill.”
  • “You bang that gavel one more time I swear to God. . .”
  • “The Gentleman from Maine is a goddamn low-rent blatant motherfucker of an individual. For him to insinuate that I would watch gay porn during a Committee hearing is libel! Tranny porn is not gay! How many times do I have to fucking say it?”

Calling America

February 19th, 2017

I want to tell you about something that happened on the phone earlier today.

I called the office of Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), who is the chair of the House Ethics Committee, and asked if he had any intention of calling for investigation into the Flynn calls to Russia and any contact between the Trump campaign/administration and Russia in the last year.


Rep. Chaffetz with Liza Minnelli.

This is the same guy who spent $7 million or so on Benghazi investigations about Hillary Clinton. Keep in mind, last night there were news reports of a Russian spy ship thirty miles off the coast of Connecticut.

The assistant/intern/whatever on the phone told me that “Rep. Chaffetz is interested in an official inquiry”. I’m paraphrasing.

Interested, eh? I couldn’t help but laugh as I said, “Well… could he please, y’know… get on it already? You know what I mean?” Like even the guy on the phone had to know that the official statement was totally stupid but that’s his job.

I’m glad the dickhead is so interested.

I’m Exploring The Possibilities

November 14th, 2016

It appears that these things are true.

  1. Hillary Clinton won the popular vote in the 2016 Presidential election
  2. However, Donald Trump won the most states and delegates in the electoral college.
  3. Therefore, Donald Trump will be the President in January.
  4. This means that the Republicans control the White House, the Senate and the House of Representatives.


A lot of people are worried and for very good reason. Over 200 attacks since Election Day, many of which can be characterized as hate crimes against minorities. For the purposes of this post, “minorities” is short-hand for people who aren’t white, Christian Trump supporters. Even though point #1 at the top of the article.


There’s also a fear that with a political newbie like Trump there will be a major catastrophe. It has been pointed out on social media in the last few days that the last time the Republicans had all three major branches of government was in 1929, which precipitated the Great Depression. Also, the last time we elected a political outsider who didn’t win the popular vote we got George W. Bush. With that came 9/11, the ongoing actions in Iraq and the quandry following Hurricane Katrina.


So it’s really easy to play Chicken Little and cry that the sky is falling when you feel a combo of the stock market crash and the World Trade Center attack is in the immediate future. At some point, concerned citizens will have to pull themselves together. Blaming Bernie bros, Susan Sarandon or third-party voters in swing states will not undo attacks on p.o.c. and LGBTQs. Blaming Donna Brazile or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz will not fill that ninth Supreme Court seat (nine months and counting) with a Democrat appointee.


But there is another political fight on the horizon and it’s for the House in 2018. Every seat up for re-election. Of course they were up for election this year too. Did you know that in three of Kentucky’s congressional districts, Republicans ran unopposed? It was a gimme for them except for John Yarmuth, the lone Dem holdout in Louisville.


If it comes down to it, I’ll run for Congress myself in 2018. Even if I lose, somebody has to run in opposition. To let one party run unopposed two terms in a row is just rubber-stamping whatever they do.


In the meantime, I’ve got to get my health on track. I’ve got to get my strength up if I’m going to fight the power.