Posts Tagged ‘aspirations’

Your Boyfriend Is In My Way

March 6th, 2011

The boyfriend of a potential girlfriend is my enemy. I guess I don’t need to say anything else but I will anyway.


Talking with a friend the other day, I discovered something that I do to guys who are dating chicks I like. It is not a good habit and I didn’t realize I did it until recently. The practice of barely being civil to a guy who’s dating a chick I wanna have sex with. The bare minimum of socially required niceness when in reality I’d drop the guy with a crowbar and make off with his lady if I could.


I’m willing to bet this happens often. Guy A likes Girl B who is dating Guy C. There are plenty of spoken-for women who are attractive but here’s the nutshell of it: Guy A thinks he could have a shot if only Guy C weren’t in the way. Girl B wouldn’t be able to stop herself from falling in the sack with Guy A, then. Probably not the best way to think of things since that parlays into the two Guys being chess-men and the Girl a rook of some type. I’m not a Chess-man, but I know how to play checkers and I want to “king” the bitch. I’m a red-blooded male. Can you blame me?


There is one guy I do this with every time I see him and his girlfriend. Truth is, I don’t even want to steal her away. I want to borrow her for a weekend. I want her to get a furlough or a Hall Pass like that movie with Owen Wilson that’s coming out soon. I don’t want to ruin their relationship forever. I’m not a sadist.


Then again, the only thing that would make me cum harder is if the guy were in an adjacent room audibly sobbing while I nailed his chick. Hard orgasms and mad scientist laughter.


So maybe I am a sadist. What about it?

Now That I’ve Introduced Myself, What’s Next?

February 27th, 2011

It is time to set the agenda for


What is this place going to be? A clearing house for me and my ideas, rants, raves, reviews.


Actually, that sounds exactly like what the agenda should be. I guess we’re done here for now.


What do I want to accomplish with Isn’t it enough to “just want to do better?” I would h0pe so, but WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? What does it mean to “do better”?


I want this to be the place that my people come for updates about me and my many ventures. Also, I’d like to make some money. More money than I make now, which is not very much at the momentthanksfornothingGod.


I’d like to meet hot chicks that want to kick it with an awesome, mildly-socially-anxious writer-blogger-singer-announcer. Throw yourselves at me, don’t be ashamed. I won’t judge you to be sluts. You’re not sluts; you’re the farthest thing from slutty. You’re delivering to me a care package of vagina, and I will never talk down to or about you.


So in summary, I want to get laid and get paid, and I’d like people to attend events I’m working en masse. This is the American Dream, no matter where you go.


A mild correction: I want to get laid and get paid more. These are my hopes and dreams. Forget about long-term security.