A National Panic Attack

November 23rd, 2016

Help me. Could you send somebody over here to check on me? I’m having a hard time breathing. I can’t catch my breath and my heart keeps pounding faster and faster and I think I’m having a heart attack and I’m scared to death and I want to scream and I’m alone and I need help. Please help me.

 

………….

 

My name? My name is America. My address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Send somebody right away, please.

 

…………..

 

I started feeling this way about two weeks ago. I felt it for a little while and then I started feeling a little bit better and it’s come and gone in waves and now it’s really on top of me. I don’t know if it’s a heart palpitation or what.

 

……………

 

The fear is getting to me. It’s getting to me. Yes, you can call me back at this number. Please help me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything.

 

……………

 

I tried ignoring it. I tried dealing with it. I tried giving it a chance. I tried and it just got worse. I can’t make it stop. I can barely sleep because of it.

 

 

I’m scared. What else can I say? I’m terrified at the prospect of President Trump. The idea haunts me. His face haunts me when I close my eyes at night when I try to sleep. His wicked, perverse face and his inbred, mean, ugly family in control. Unchecked, unbalanced. Wielding absolute power like a malevolent king. The end of Amerika. I hate him. I hate him as much I hate any sex offender, any deadbeat, any abusive parent, any swindler, any cheat, any known liar and any hatemonger.

 

Is this really going to happen? I guess I’m afraid because I know no matter what happens there’s a fight ahead. There’s a painful long fight. Because the hatemongers, the bigots, the racists, the Nazis are all emboldened and empowered by Trump’s “victory”, in which he lost by nearly two million votes.

 

Even if Hillary Clinton were to challenge the results of the vote in the swing states where there has been evidence of tampering (Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania), the damage has been done. Over 700 acts of post-election racially-tinged violent acts and incidents have occurred since then. If she somehow won a recount, then that would only inflame tensions even more. But she did win. The popular vote. This shouldn’t be happening.

 

And yet here we are. And yet other people have moved on, trying to get on with life. I can’t do that. I can’t allow myself to become acclimatized to authoritarianism.

 

Have you ever watched someone in the last years of their life? Have you watched an elderly person compromise with their inability to do the things they had been able to do in the past? I have, up close. It’s heartbreaking. Finally, you see this elderly person that you love on their death bed, no longer able to do anything. Not even able to take water to quench their thirst and you hear the death rattle in their throat. But by then you’ve resigned yourself to it. You know they will eventually pass into the next realm, whatever that may be.

 

We’re not there yet, not as a country. This is not the death rattle. But if we’re not careful that day will come. It only took Hitler about twelve years to go from launching the Third Reich to cashing out with his lover Eva Braun in a burned-out bunker in a devastated Germany.

 

I’m afraid. People are too busy laughing at fucking memes to understand what is at stake. Pushing faster toward an seemingly inevitable endpoint where everything has been ransacked and burned down and we have to start again literally from the foundation up.

 

You can’t tell me it will be all right, because it isn’t. And it won’t be. Even if a miracle occurred.

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