Mike’s Classy Porno

August 19th, 2014

This is Mike’s Classy Porno (est. 2014) and we run a class operation.

mikeclassy

 

Pornography has been around before the printing press. As long as people have been drawing on caves, they have been drawing things for each other to masturbate to. The cavemen made it alright without speculum shots of a woman’s innards and Mike’s Classy Porno will continue in that tradition.

 

First things first: we will not be swishing cum in our mouths. I’ll repeat that, and elaborate: WE WILL NOT BE SWISHING CUM IN AND OUT OF OUR MOUTHS AND THE MOUTHS OF OUR FRIENDS. We are civilized human beings, not mama and baby birds.

 

We will also not be pouring cum on a bowl of dog food or snorting it up with a straw. We are a classy operation.

 

I will even go this far. Cum goes in several places. It goes on asses, it goes on titties, it goes on faces. It DOES NOT go in the love tunnel. People who are into “creampie” videos will not be catered to by Mike’s Classy Porno. Nine out of ten people who view “creampie” videos online are less likely to pay for porn.

 

Our productions will focus on the important things. Faces, facial expressions, emotions, feelings. The celebration of sex as a natural act. Sometimes with three partners or more than that.

 

Yes, there will be visible penetration. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be Mike’s Classy Porn. It would be Mike’s Classy Something Else. However, you have my personal vow as the CEO of Mike’s Classy Porn that you will never see the back of a guy’s balls in any of our videos. Unless it’s a double-penetration scene. I can’t make any promises in that instance.

 

Mike’s Classy Porno will support performer use of latex condoms. In fact, we will go so far as to recommend that our performers cover their entire bodies in latex. Especially over their heads.

 

Here at Mike’s Classy Porno, we straddle the line between graphic and unnecessarily graphic. More importantly, we straddle. And straddle. And straddle some more.

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