Archive for August, 2014

Mike’s Classy Porno

August 19th, 2014

This is Mike’s Classy Porno (est. 2014) and we run a class operation.

mikeclassy

 

Pornography has been around before the printing press. As long as people have been drawing on caves, they have been drawing things for each other to masturbate to. The cavemen made it alright without speculum shots of a woman’s innards and Mike’s Classy Porno will continue in that tradition.

 

First things first: we will not be swishing cum in our mouths. I’ll repeat that, and elaborate: WE WILL NOT BE SWISHING CUM IN AND OUT OF OUR MOUTHS AND THE MOUTHS OF OUR FRIENDS. We are civilized human beings, not mama and baby birds.

 

We will also not be pouring cum on a bowl of dog food or snorting it up with a straw. We are a classy operation.

 

I will even go this far. Cum goes in several places. It goes on asses, it goes on titties, it goes on faces. It DOES NOT go in the love tunnel. People who are into “creampie” videos will not be catered to by Mike’s Classy Porno. Nine out of ten people who view “creampie” videos online are less likely to pay for porn.

 

Our productions will focus on the important things. Faces, facial expressions, emotions, feelings. The celebration of sex as a natural act. Sometimes with three partners or more than that.

 

Yes, there will be visible penetration. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be Mike’s Classy Porn. It would be Mike’s Classy Something Else. However, you have my personal vow as the CEO of Mike’s Classy Porn that you will never see the back of a guy’s balls in any of our videos. Unless it’s a double-penetration scene. I can’t make any promises in that instance.

 

Mike’s Classy Porno will support performer use of latex condoms. In fact, we will go so far as to recommend that our performers cover their entire bodies in latex. Especially over their heads.

 

Here at Mike’s Classy Porno, we straddle the line between graphic and unnecessarily graphic. More importantly, we straddle. And straddle. And straddle some more.

Loki?

August 13th, 2014

 

This right here is Loki?, a 1974 solo album by Os Mutantes leader Arnaldo Baptista. For this album, he is joined by the Mutantes rhythm section, Dinho and Liminha. Rita Lee sings backup on two songs and brother Sergio’s guitar is nowhere to be found. It is Arnaldo’s show, with him playing all the non-rhythm section instruments.

 

It is a short and sweetly sad album. 98% of the album’s lyrics are in Portuguese, but even a non-speaker can tell something is wearing on Arnaldo’s mind. Os Mutantes were straying apart, his relationship with Rita Lee had become too frayed to repair and the drugs were taking a heavy toll.

 

A lot of people who are casual listeners to Os Mutantes’ music might enjoy this. It is not as lighthearted or freespirited as the early 1968-1970 records that everyone knows and loves, but it is not as progressively oriented as their post-Rita Lee work would become with Sergio taking a greater deal of creative responsibility.

 

If you take a look at Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 greatest Brazilian albums of all time, the work of Arnaldo Baptista is all over it. Four Os Mutantes albums, Loki? and the seminal Tropicalia compliation which features contributions from the Mutantes which is considered the second best Brazilian album of all time.

 

In 1982, Arnaldo Baptista jumped off the fourth floor of a mental institution. He survived.

What A Wonderful World

August 8th, 2014

 

Theory: people only listen to Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World” when they need to be reassured as much.

 

No matter what happens, everything will work out. Don’t give up. The dawn is coming, I promise. A new day filled with promise is on the way.

 

This website will update less frequently as I tend to personal matters. If you are a frequent reader, you may have guessed that by now. If 2014 were a person I would block it on social media.