Archive for September, 2012

Where Do I Even Start

September 30th, 2012

What in the blue hell did I miss while I was off playing music? I missed the story of an Arizona man who shot himself at the end of a police chase on national television. As it so happens, this chase and its’ horrible end was being followed by a newscopter which ended up broadcasting it to Fox News.


Let me repeat that. A man shot himself on live television on Friday afternoon. Live basic cable. Fox News. In the middle of the day.


You are not hearing as much about this as you should. This should reach Janet Jackson/Super Bowl levels of outrage. This was a man shooting himself on live television. And easy as it would be to simply throw the blame on Fox News and leave it at that, we need to really look at the entire idea of broadcasting live police chases. We need to look at it, and then scrap it.


Police chases are shot on newscopters by local news stations, and sometimes the cable outlets (in this case only Fox News bit) will take the story nationwide. Often the story remains a local one. In Los Angeles, they sometimes add a timer to the corner of the screen like it’s a game how long a wanted person can evade the long arm of the law.


It is good for ratings (and subsequently ad revenue) if people are captivated by the TV. What’s more likely to captivate at three in the afternoon? A rerun of Dr. Phil or a police chase on the city streets that you know and drive on every day?


I wish more people would acknowledge the sickness in finding entertainment in these type of things. How could news producers and managers not predict that we might very well see something like a wanted man kill himself? What’s next, pulling a Grand Theft Auto and running over people on the sidewalk?


This is where the FCC complaints ought to go, if anywhere.

We Won The BG Music Scene Hunger Games

September 30th, 2012

Friday night, Technology Vs. Horse played the Starry Nights Music Festival. How did it go? Hold on, lemme upload this picture. . .



What you see there is a picture of me on stage at the Starry Nights festival, facing my audience. There are many people facing me. G’head and click on it. Pretty incredible, eh? Now don’t mind me tooting my own horn, and no disrespect to the other four bands (Canago, Mahtulu, Sex Bombs, Buffalo Rodeo) who also won the Starry Nights Local Band Contest but in the end, Technology Vs. Horse won the BG Music Scene Hunger Games.


We didn’t eat the other bands alive. That would be insulting. They all played great sets. We just ate the audience alive. That’s all. Not that I’m bragging.


I know I sound a little boastful but indulge me because I’m on an emotional high that is still going into the early hours Sunday morning as I type this. It was not a perfect set, but it was as Goldilocks said about the third bed, “just right”.


The next afternoon, I returned to the scene of the crime to walk around, socialize and bask in the festival scene. People walked around happily, many youngsters covered in paint. Many people drinking cans of beer and plastic bottles of cheap liquor. A row of vendors selling everything from foods to tie-dyed items to cornholes to band merchandise and ever onward. I was congratulated by at least eighty people on the previous night’s set, many of whom were from out of town and had never seen the band before.


I hoped the many kudos would translate into generous merch sales for the band. It didn’t. Say hello, silver lining.


I saw a woman walking around in a bra too small for her enormous bosoms. She was another bodypaint-covered young lady (I’m 34, 21 is a young lady to me now) and she had paint all over her chest going straight down her cleavage. Never have I been so happy to see a woman running at me. Unfortunately, she only gave me a high five. I will never look at cannonballs the same way again.



You say you weren’t at Starry Nights? No problem, a young man in the very front row managed to videotape the entire set, all twenty-eight minutes of it. You can watch it right here. The sound and video quality is okay for what it is. Obvious audio distortion on the camera mic, but it is mild and we do plenty of distorting on our own anyway.



ROSI is dead. Long live ROSI.

September 26th, 2012

This note was posted on Facebook last night. This was the team I announced for for two seasons. Their last two seasons, as it turned out. I feel like the Ted McGinley of ROSI. A heavy heart indeed. What a drag. ROSI didn’t give me exactly what I wanted, but it gave me more than I could ever ask for. This note is just the public acknowledgement of what has been known or suspected for anyone who ever skated or worked as staff for ROSI. What a drag.


Dear Friends, Family, and Derby Community, 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the formal dissolution of the Rollergirls of Southern Indiana. We’ve had a wonderful 5 years here in the community and it pains us terribly to be dissolving. We thank everyone for their support through the years whether as a fan, skater, NSO, ref, support staff, or spectator.


The Rollergirls of Southern Indiana

P.S. – If you need a derby fix, you can still find some of your favorite ROSI’s with Demolition City Roller Derby here in Evansville. Please continue to support the Evansville derby community.

Any Song Can Be Improved

September 26th, 2012

I’m pleased to announce I’ll be starting a regular feature over at Young Mary’s Record called “Any Song Can Be Improved”.


There are literally millions of songs. Nearly all of them can be improved. This is what I’m talking about and you can read it right HERE.

We Are Not Alike At All

September 25th, 2012

Me and you are not the same. Not even close. Why so different? I can’t help but react to your intolerance of things I hold dearly. We could call each other names but there’s no reason for it. We’re actually pretty civil towards each other but I think there’s a real disrespect. A real ugly electric vibe between me and you. Are we friends?


Because the things you hate and bitch about all the time are things that I have no problem with. These things are not my enemy, nor or they yours. But you snarl at it like a dog looking at a postman on the other side of the fence.


You act superior and elite in a lot of ways that are not necessary and you come off like a giant dick to a lot of people who might like you if they got to know the real you. Your attitude sucks. You’re bitter and I don’t know why. It’s your life, pardner.



So Close To Starry Nights

September 25th, 2012

Aren’t you ready? I’m ready. I can’t wait for Friday night. I’m gonna burn that motherfucker down.

Nilsson Too Moody

September 19th, 2012

I am an artist, dammit.



I am a complete artist, as long as I’m discussing this. I have many things I want to express in my art. My writings, my music, my what-have-you. All the ephemeral nonsense. I am a creator of beautiful things. Beautiful complicated things that evoke fragility, subtlety and the vulnerable nature of us all.


Mary and Gavin were at a Chicago eatery when they overheard some broad profiling men who listen to Nilsson. According to them, she said “Guys who listen to Nilsson are too moody.”




I had sat through waves of the shittiest indie music that has been foisted on the public by a mean-spirited mainstream. I have had to contend with multiple spurts of emo, screamo, emo-punk, scream-punk and emo-folk, folk-punk, screamfolk, and folko. I’ve fantasized about drilling into my own skull as a preference to the sounds of Dashboard Confessional. That woman probably enjoys Guided By Voices, or thinks she does.


You mean to tell me that that guys who like Nilsson are the most moody ones of them all? Not the emo-scream-folk-indie-punks? Me and my ilk? Really?


Somebody doesn’t have a vision for flair and pathos. Somebody sure doesn’t appreciate well-written, well-sung, well-produced occasional dips into bathos. The guy wrote “you’re breaking my heart, you’re tearing me apart, so fuck you”. When the Beatles, as individuals, basically tell you to a person “you’re just as good as we are”, you can do pretty much whatever you want. Every musician on Earth wishes they could hear those words from a Lennon or a Harrison or even a Starr.


That’s why this guy gets to record an album of standards when no one asked for it. That’s why this guy doesn’t have to go on tour to promote his music. That’s why he can drink himself hoarse. Because an artist isn’t a multifaceted jewel, but his gift is that. I have so much more for you to hear. So many more sides you haven’t had a chance to explore about me. And if you don’t get to hear it, who’s the sucker?


You. I’ve put out a bunch of music already. If you haven’t heard it, you’re the sucker. Stop being the fool.


She might have had a point.


*(Hold Steady fandom assumed)

Technology Victory Horse

September 17th, 2012


Technology Vs. Horse will be performing in the Starry Nights Music Festival on September 28-29th. A big deal, indeed. We want to thank all the people who voted for us (again, and again, and again). This is a gala day for us. A gal a day is all we need, I don’t think we could take any more.

Funnel Cake Shakedown

September 13th, 2012

If you’ve been to a state fair, a county fair, a fall festival, an Oktoberfest, or any sort of local what-have-you, you have likely seen a stand (perhaps more) advertising FUNNEL CAKES. Sounds like a nice treat, especially on a crisp September day like today. Batter poured into a deep-fryer until it resembles a cow chip, then fished out and covered in powdered sugar or chocolate syrup.


What do you think is a reasonable price for such a treat? Two dollars? Perhaps three? Would you be surprised if I told you the going rate for one of these funnel cakes is FIVE DOLLARS? I know, I rolled my eyes too.


Is this worth a Lincoln?


Carnivals are well-known for their glint of creepy tickettakers and sideshow attractions. Carnies, we know them as. The biggest carny hustle of them all is the Funnel Cake Shakedown. What parent wouldn’t be nervous as a toothless man with urine-stained pants ushered their young ones onto a ride of questionable safety? And we pay for the right to let them do it.


But the funnel cakes? We let our guard down when it’s time for concessions. And carnival food is overpriced but funnel cakes are the most overpriced of all. FIVE DOLLARS for fried dough with sugar on top? You’re all a bunch of criminals. You shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near children, let alone chiseling money from their hard-working parents and their single, childless friends.

Finding A Larger Audience

September 12th, 2012

That is the thing I’m trying to figure out now. How do I get more people to see my band’s video. Right now, TvH’s “White Girls” video is somewhere over 600 views which is really nice for two days and us being a local band.


I’d like to get more people to see it but I don’t know how exactly. Right now I’m pandering to bands on Twitter to RT the Youtube link. I don’t know if anyone will do it or not. I hope so. A lot of love and work went into that video. The best I can hope for is that more people see it. I’m not foolish enough to think it will be a smash hit like “Friday” by Rebecca Black but it would be nice to break 10,000 views.