Archive for August, 2012

The Invisible Man

August 31st, 2012

Right now everyone on the Internet is having a laugh at actor Clint Eastwood for appearing at the Republican National Convention and addressing an empty chair under the guise that he was talking to the President.

 

I could not bring myself to watch Eastwood’s speech, nor most of the convention. I watched the first half of Mitt Romney’s speech before my stomach had enough. However, I enjoy a good laugh as much as anyone. I suggested that Obama make his campaign theme the Queen song “The Invisible Man”.

 

 

I love this strange video. What I love most are the production goofs. Production goofs make me happy, especially on videos that cost a lot of money. I have to assume that in 1989, the “video game” graphics on “The Invisible Man” video cost more than the set design.

 

If you look on this kid’s wall, you see he has a Chicago Bears poster next to a Cleveland Browns poster. Under them, there’s a Phoenix Cardinals flag. In 1989, all three of those teams went a cumulative 20-27-1. This kid is an ADD bandwagon jumper and still can’t get it right. Next to the Cardinals flag, there’s a Kansas City Royals flag. In 1989, the Royals finished 92-70, second in the AL West. I guess the set designer just took all the American sports memorabilia they had and tacked it on the wall willy-nilly. How would England like it if US bands put a Man City poster next to a Chelsea poster in their video with a Liverpool scarf underneath? They’d think we were idiots.

 

All four band members jump out of the closet (you read that right) and proceed to rock out in this kid’s room. There’s a crane shot where you see the edges of nearby sets. I wish they had just made a video of Queen band members jumping out of random closets, filmed Candid Camera-style.

 

There are eight or nine Brian May’s playing guitar at the same time during the solo and shooting lasers out of the guitar headstock. One of them isn’t wearing sunglasses for who knows but all the others are. That Brian May can’t see the They Live aliens like the others.

 

Finally, John Deacon is wearing a silly Crocodile Dundee hat.

Hunger Force In Concert

August 31st, 2012

So I spent a lot of time talking about the Mercy Lounge show on this website. It’s been almost a week and I haven’t mentioned it at all since then. You may or may not be wondering just how well it went.

 

It was. . . fine. The band was fine. The reaction was fine. Everything turned out fine. It could have been better. I can say that because I have a house recording of the set and I assure you it could have been better. My performance was not all it could have been. I was too keyed up. Too nervous and jittery.

 

This is all new material that was performed in Nashville the other night. I have to figure out where to breathe in those new songs when I play them live. I’ve never had that problem before. Otherwise, I might not get enough oxygen to my brain and pass out.

 

I need to just buy a tambourine or maracas and shake them whenever there’s an instrumental section in a song. I hate standing there like a nincompoop, hands to my sides. So I try to do something, anything. Flail my hands. Act crazy. But I forget sometimes to breathe.

 

I hope I can do more shows with the Hunger Force in the future.

Vote For Us

August 31st, 2012

http://www.starrynightsfestival.com/band-contest/

 

Vote for my band, Technology Vs. Horse, so we can play the Starry Nights Festival in Bowling Green the last weekend of September. You can vote up to five times, if you wish. You can vote for us all five times, or for us a few times and maybe some other band once or twice, or vote other bands in and not vote for us at all (DON’T DO THAT).

 

To campaign, our intrepid guitarist Rafe has created some wonderful campaign banners/posters for your enjoyment/advertisement.

 

 

 

An ad just featuring our world traveling drummer and guitarist.

 

We didn't have time to arrange a "50 Shades of Grey"-styled photoshoot.

I’m Listening To My New Album

August 30th, 2012

And it’s fantastic!

 

At least it’s fantastic up to track eight. I hope tracks nine and ten aren’t terrible. I’d hate for the album to end on such a terrible note.

 

What I like about my album is that these songs are so short that if I don’t like them, I don’t have to wait long before another one comes along. This album is barely a half-hour long. That’s pretty darn short, ya know?

 

Oh sure, if you like those epic prog-rock songs that take three minutes just to warm up, you might not care for this album. I’m on track nine right now and that’s the only one that is over four minutes. Not a five minute song in the bunch, let alone eight minutes with a Moog solo and lyrics about wizards.

 

I should mention that this IS NOT A RAP ALBUM. There will not be any rap lyrics on this album. None at all. I DO NOT RAP ON THIS ALBUM. Nor does anyone else. There are no “slamming beats”. There are enjoyable songs with melodies and odd lyrics that run can be hilarious, tragic or both. Some of the songs have funny lyrics. More often then not, the funny lyrics in a song will be followed by a really biting, cruel, unfortunate lyric. Anger, spite, unhappiness, melancholy, the tears of a clown, the rambling Facebook messages of that clown to a girl he told he loved and was rejected by.

 

These songs are NEW! and yet they will soon become CLASSICS! in the popular music pantheon. TODAY! I stand before you having listened to ten songs, my latest album and knowing that I and the people who helped me make this thing. . . did a pretty good job. We could nitpick this under the sun but in the end we have a lot to be proud of. Sooner rather than later, you will hear these NEW! CLASSICS! TODAY!

Blast From The Past

August 30th, 2012

 

The video above is of me, performing for a radio show in 2008. I’m singing the song “Holland”. I still have that shirt.

The BG Music Scene Hunger Games

August 28th, 2012

Where were you in 2012 when the great BG Music Scene Hunger Games took place? Were you in Bowling Green when fifteen of Bowling Green’s best local groups killed each other for a slot at a local music festival? Did you get any musician blood on you? Were you not entertained?

 

Mike from Technology Vs. Horse was the first to be killed when all of the other musicians ganged up on him. He was the largest musician, and (it was said by him in his own blog) the most charismatic. It was a surprise to some, but when nearly sixty people (including his own guitar player) try to kill one man, there won’t be much left of the one. Although, some of his bones have been preserved and are on display at the Kentucky Museum.

 

Patson was considered an underdog as he is a solo artist but when he employed the self-made fighting robots, he managed to turn Nick from Drobot (who, despite his name, brought NO fighting robots) into liquid paste. As Patson’s robots rhythmically plunged their rotating knives into Nick’s body, they began to malfunction and glitch, causing Nick to utter his dying words: “This would be a great song to play at clubs.”

 

With a name like Rainbow Kitty Kitty, you’d think this band didn’t know how to fight to the death. You’d be right.

 

The Sex Bombs were not forward thinking enough to bring actual bombs to the fight, as that would have settled everything. But you know who did? Canago, who had an eclectic range of Molotov cocktails. In a flurry of explosions, they took out poor Billy Swayze who was heard to yell shortly before his demise “WHO WANTS A DRANK BEFORE WE BARE-KNUCKLE BOX?!!!”

 

For hours, the BG Music Scene hacked itself to bits. A member of Thee Japanese School Girls here, someone from Mahtulu (whatever they sound like) blown to bits. Thomas from the Black Shades’ foot fell off but only because it was rotten and not because some mutilated him.

 

Finally, we got word that there were FIVE festival slots open, not just one. There were enough musicians still alive left to form five bands. Many of the survivors were badly wounded. Patson replaced Mike as TVH’s lead singer, but he has to sing through a throat kazoo, and their bassist Matt lost both arms in the battle and must now hit the strings with a paintbrush he holds with his teeth.

 

Truthfully, there were supposed to be sixteen bands in the Hunger Games, but Lost River Cavemen killed themselves with hemlock beforehand.

When The Vibes Are Bad

August 23rd, 2012

Hey, you. Play the video and listen while you read this post.

 

 

What do you do when the vibes are bad around you? How do you chase away the fear? Do you shoo it away like a fly or just ignore it like smoke in the sky?

 

How do you cope with the ugly buzz in your stomach? The fear that won’t recede. You feel like a child and mommy and daddy are fighting again. Your back is to the TV set, tears in your eyes, pleading with them to not be in each others faces like rabid dogs. You think if you cry hard and loud enough, they’ll take notice and stop fighting and reassure you that everything is okay.

 

Awww it’s fine, sweetie. We really do love each other, all of us. Each other and you. We’ll never not love you.

 

The truth is they’ll notice you crying and blame each other for making you cry. This only makes things worse. Sometimes mommy and daddy are petty. They don’t take into account how it makes the children feel. When the vibe is so bad and you can’t control anything. Not even your own reaction to it. You’re just a baby. A sweet baby who wants to reassurance and comfort. There is nothing wrong with that.

Less Than A Week Away

August 21st, 2012

Tomorrow, I will drive to Bowling Green to practice with my new musical combo: Kentucky Prophet Hunger Force. We are going to get it together and put some stank on it and be ready to rock on Monday, August 27th at the Mercy Lounge as part of the BG Invasion series.

 

I feel comfortable at this point informing you as to the players in the Hunger Force.

on guitar, Mr. Russell “Athletic” Brooks

on bass guitar, Mr. Shelby “Cummin’ ‘Round The Mountain When She Cums, starring Randy West and Asia Carrera” Smith

on keyboards, “Mr.” “Ms.” Miss Cindy Darst

and on drums Mr. “Nicholas” Nick “elodeon” Clark

 

These are the brave souls who are going to hammer out a new direction in the history of not just Kentucky Prophet, but popular music as a whole. Have you been waiting for music to just get better already? YOUR WISH WILL BE FULFILLED on August 27th when the Kentucky Prophet Hunger Force takes the stage.

Some Photos From “The Ring Of Wax”

August 20th, 2012

Here are some photos from the Chikara Pro Wrestling event “The Ring Of Wax” that took place Saturday, August 18th, at the Old National Center in Indianapolis, Indiana. These photos were taken by my friend Mary. There were more and when she sends them to me I’ll put them up.

 

Saturyne starts the party before her match with Tim Donst.

Soldier Ant picks up a member of The Batiri for a bodyslam!

 

The referee warns against pulling on combatANTs antennae.

 

A rare picture of me enjoying myself and being happy.

 

Ring announcer Gavin Loudspeaker riles up the crowd!

 

CombatANT with a delayed vertical suplex.

Who Had All The Fun? I DID!!

August 20th, 2012

My Saturday was better than yours. Acknowledge!

 

Me and a special friend trekked all the way up to Indianapolis to see Chikara Pro Wrestling present “The Ring Of Wax” at the Old National Center. AND IT WAS GREAT! Even you who are not a wrestling fan would have enjoyed the heck out of this show.

 

When we got to the Old National, we found out another show was happening on the ground floor. A performance by Il Volo, the teenage opera singing group from Italy. Chikara’s show was taking place in the Egyptian Room on the top floor. What a strange confluence of events, and what a great booker at the Old National.

 

For now, this is the only photo I have of the event. It is a photo of Mary wearing the Dasher Hatfield mask I bought.

 

 

There will be more photos as soon as Mary can find the stupid cord that will connect the camera to the computer and upload them. Probably in the distant future, and I’ll have to keep on her like an angry pit bull.

 

I’m not going to bore you with a match-by-match review of the show. There were eight matches, all of which had ample time to tell an interesting and often funny story. All of the performers worked very hard and their efforts were appreciated (as evidenced by the chants of “PLEASE COME BACK’ after the last match). A lot of the matches combined high-flying Mexican lucha libre wrestling with absurd slapstick humor and the venue was intimate enough that fans could hear the wrestlers snap at each other.

 

 

 

These three men(?) are The Batiri, and they made Mary nervous during the intermission. She was walking around, taking pictures that she will later delete before uploading when one of them croaked to her “pretti. . . pretti. . .pretti puurrson. . . c’mere and speak to us”. She looked around to see who they were talking to. Which is so adorable because she was not only the prettiest girl in the audience, she was also one of the few women in the audience.

 

Apart from a bit of sunburn on my right arm, all went very well and Saturday was great. I got a DVD and a Dasher mask and all is right with the world. Chikara is recommended for anyone. It will thaw out your ice block of a heart, people.