Archive for May, 2012

The Last Song To Fight Off Sleep

May 31st, 2012

This will likely be the last post of the month of May. That’s about 28, methinks. Not bad. I try to be prolific, if only for my own mental health. Right now, I’m listening to “All Over The World” by ELO for the second consecutive time. I might listen to it again when it concludes.

 

Who the hell am I kidding? I definitely will give it a third run. I don’t care right now. I’ve been up since about ten o’clock last night and nothing matters to me except my own dreams and the weirdness that I live with. Welcome to the wind tunnel that is my life.

 

I need music to keep my up, keep my going. Some songs become a last stand before a total crash. Right now, “All Over The World” is that song. Before that, it was the Pixies Doolittle album. The entire thing would keep me going at least for its’ running time and then I’d be done for.

 

In some ways, listening to this music is an admission of defeat. If I could, I wouldn’t go to bed. At least for another eight hours. I’m being a silly goose. Such is life. I have no set schedule. The corners of my eyes are hazy and I am listening to pure sugar rush pop music to get me through the last few moments. I am being irrational. God be with me. I love everyone, everything, even myself. I am serene in this moment. I am numb, I am peaceful. I am the Buddha, I am the Cosmos, I am the wisest fool on the grid called U.S.A. The “A” stands for “Amercia”. Mitt Romney’s people have seen to it.

TVH is working on two albums

May 30th, 2012

Some more b.s. from last weekend. TVH is working on two albums. One of them has been in the making for some time and the other is a more recent development.

 

I will explain now. We’re recording an album of songs from the first two albums. The problem with the first two TVH albums is that they are not the current lineup and the performances are lacking. Songs that we still like enough to perform in concert but don’t associate with the recordings because we were still trying to figure out what we were doing.

 

Six songs have already been recorded for this project, including two new tracks. Two new songs mean it won’t be a complete rehash of our music.

 

Then there’s another album of all original material. We’re working on four songs for it so far, and one song has already been completed for said album. This album of all original material has a concept to it. A real concept, unlike “Bearula” which was a theory that was supposed to be a concept.

 

Prediction: both TVH albums will be done before the Kentucky Prophet album. Frowny-face.

Leaving For Cincinnati

May 29th, 2012

We stood in the parking lot of the bar talking it up like a couple of fools. Two ships passing in the night, so fast they don’t have time to have sex with each other. Ships do that, right?

 

One of her friends told me she was moving soon, going to Cincinnati. It didn’t make me feel good. A person I already saw very little of would now be seen even less, if ever again. So tonight we had to have it out, talk some shit and have a good time because there might not be another time like this.

 

When she talks to me, I feel like the only other person in the universe. I blot out the rest of the world. I could ignore a burning car with a family of four in it, as long as I was in her gaze. We drank down something called a Washington Apple, which has vodka and cranberry in it. I didn’t ask for it but it showed up on the table in front of me. It went down easy, it had to be a girly drink.

 

I asked her about Cincinnati, and she said she was moving in a few weeks. And I asked her “why” like a child.

 

“Because it isn’t Evansville.”

 

She elaborated, but she didn’t have to. I got it. Get out of the miserable town you’ve known your whole life and forge your own way, even if that way takes you to southern Ohio. I didn’t need to know any other details.

 

There was a deep hug before she left. I asked her to take me with her, not half-jokingly. Not to Evansville, but Cincinnati. Where she lives isn’t any great shakes, but it’s better than my town where everything stops at 8pm. Try being a night person in a town like that.

Through The Past, Drunkenly

May 28th, 2012

Thank goodness for Soundcloud. Now everyone can put their music out for everyone to album and not waste time trying to put it out on an album. Thank God. Too many artists making too many albums.

 

Also, we get to put out old stuff that we completely forgot about. Like this 2007-era recording of myself playing with The Touched. A one-take mashup where I sang the words to “I Sell Drugs To Celebrities” while they played one of their songs, “Back Scratcher”. Touched drummer Andy Matter put it on his Soundcloud and now you (can/don’t have to) listen to it RIGHT HERE. Anyway.

 

Trying to remember how the whole thing went. It was recorded on a reel-to-reel eight-track that the bass player owned. It was a totally live, analog recording until it went to Soundcloud. I think the song is mixed kinda low but maybe it oughta be. I don’t care for it. It is an interesting moment in time, but maybe that’s all it is. In the end, I’m glad it’s out there.

A Milky Shoot Of Creative Juice

May 28th, 2012

You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve been gone this weekend because I was busy. Saturday and Sunday were heavy days and I probably slept about 5 hours total during a 48-hour span. I don’t mind it so much because I sleep too much anyway. Might as well go the opposite way, right?

 

Saturday was a roller derby bout and Sunday was band practice, both in Bowling Green. I helped call the second half of a double-header which involved my old team from Evansville. The local Bowling Green team defeated the Evansville team but that didn’t bother me. It used to, doesn’t bother me so much.

 

After the bout, I had ample quality time with Jen(n){n]}, the Evansville girl who I’ve had a contentious history with. Things I’ve blogged about before, like the candied bacon incident, the Pixies no-show. Those were a few of the things that came up in our chat at the after-party. I played her the song that I wrote after the bacon incident, or a demo of it. She got a kick out of it, as she oughta. It’s a funny song.

 

I can’t know what it’s like for the subject of one of my songs to find out that I wrote the song about them and have to sit there and listen to them as its’ played for my amusement. To have this one moment in your life, maybe one that you don’t care to remember all that well, immortalized in song. That has to be one of the hardest deals. ever. To know that someone had turned a moment in your life into a song. To know it meant that much to them. To learn that they wrote that song because they were trying to exorcise a demon inside of them. A demon that got there because of you.

 

There’s a lot to write about the Memorial Day weekend that was. I suggest you celebrate your M-Day the best you can, by drinking some beer, grilling out and thinking about the soldiers who made this country great. Give them about four seconds of your time. By writing this sentence, I have already thought more about the soldiers than I wanted to.

Never Mind, False Alarm

May 25th, 2012

I want to tell you what just happened. I got a FB message from someone who shall remain nameless, a kind innocent person who without trying brought me down a level.

 

Funny thing! I went into the Great Escape and saw two KY Prophet cds and I bought them!

 

Are you in Louisville?

 

Yes sir!

 

(that means that someone sold copies of both my albums to the Great Escape, who sold it to my friend… can’t know whether they were sold as local consignments or in the used rack but I don’t get a penny from it)

 

I thanked my friend and ended the conversation there.

 

fail

I Found A New Reason To Live

May 25th, 2012

Friends, I have been down. I have been trodden. I have been downtrodden. It has not been good in the House of Prophet. I feel like my music career is winding down. I told my band that I was essentially along for the ride, no longer a proactive member of the band. I will from now on contribute my vocals and lyrics to songs and live shows. I will no longer try to book shows for the band. I don’t book gigs for myself, either.

 

As for myself, I’ve given up hope that there will ever be any more Kentucky Prophet music. I give up on making this album. It’s not gonna happen. I realize that nothing is going to happen and I might as well forget it. The dream is over.

 

Add in all the other stuff that is going on. I am a lonely person, a hermit. I sit around not knowing anything at all. I don’t do anything. I feel unloved and miserable. Or I felt that way. But not anymore, fuckers. Hell to the naw. I’m a changed man.

 

If it weren’t for American-Australian Rules Football, I’d be dead. Yes, the American cousin to Australian Rules Football. Or Australian Rules Football played in the United States of America. Oh, hell yes. There’s a state governing body for it. There’s three teams within three hours of me, in Louisville, Nashville, and St. Louis. Yes! They’re having the Nationals just outside of Cincinnati in October.

 

Yes, sir. I even watched an official AFL game at 5 in the morning, Geelong vs. Western Bulldogs, just to get amped. Hell yes, folks. American footy is totally going to fill the massive void that music, food and the Internet have failed to fill in my empty, miserable life.

Do-Nothing Daze

May 23rd, 2012

My life is over. I’m still alive in breathing in the USA but I feel my life is over. I’m fast-forwarding to the end like a bad movie.

 

I used to want to accomplish something every day and when I couldn’t do that, I would get upset at myself. These days I don’t care. I’d rather just sleep and sit and forget I’m alive. Is that okay? Some people have a plan for committing suicide? My plan is just to wait and wait and wait. I’m already dead inside. I’m only occupying the waking hours, that’s it.

 

Wouldn’t it be funny if I pissed my pants right now?

Shittiest Lakers Of The Modern Era

May 21st, 2012

Little known fact about me: I hate the Los Angeles Lakers. Hate hate hate the Lakers. I had the misfortune of living in LA during the full-flower of the Shaq/Kobe era (2001-03) when they were racking up titles like it was nothing. I seriously walked around with a raincoat on with FUCK THE LAKERS handpainted on the thing. To work. To pick up my paycheck. And I didn’t get fired for that. Because I wasn’t alone. Because even people in LA hate(d) the stupid Lakers.

 

I’ve hated the Lakers since the Magic Johnson days. I was happy when Magic announced he had AIDS. It took me years of growth and maturity to not be happy that he isn’t dead yet. But as much as I would like to hate on Magic, he was a great player and a great Laker. Perhaps the greatest Laker (no Kobe or Kareem). And there have been some that have worn the purple and gold with pride and majesty, but there have also been a few that wore it shittily and somehow lucked their way into a NBA title because they were on the team. Here is a small list of such fucktards.

 

Vlade Divac: (Laker tenure 1989-96, 2004-05)

 

This guy with the terrible beard is Fezzik from The Princess Bride Vlade Divac and was one of the first Eastern European players in the NBA. He brought over with him a little thing called “flopping”, whereupon one falls down upon light contact with the intention of drawing a foul on his opponent. It’s done all the time now in the NBA. So shitty bearded Vlade is a pioneer of sorts. A pioneer of bad basketball. Thanks, douche. Thankfully, he never won an NBA title.

 

Kurt Rambis: (1981-88, 1993-95)

 

This idiot with the the dirty sanchez and goggles is a convicted child molestor 4-time NBA champion Kurt Rambis, who had the good fortune of tagging along with Magic, Kareem, Worthy and the rest of Pat Riley’s showtime. Rambis was a favorite among fans for his scrappy play and willingness to the dirty work. . . in other words, he was a shitty white guy who couldn’t play and somehow got four titles for it. I hope he gets eye cancer.

 

Rick Fox: (1997-2004)

Sometimes you hear about one player who is so great he carries his entire team. You don’t often hear about teams that are so good they carry one shitty player. The 2000-02 Lakers were that team and Rick Fox was that shitty player. Rick Fox, the luckiest man in pro basketball. The John Stamos of the NBA. The man practically sweats Garnier Fructis. What grinds my gears is that this guy was so shitty and yet won three titles and married/divorced Vanessa Williams and banged Eliza Dushku. There is no God.

 

A.C. Green: (1985-1993, 1999-2000)

The only guy on this list who actually deserves your respect as a ballplayer, A.C. Green is still on this list because he stayed abstinent until he got married. . . in 2002! He stayed a virgin until age 38 because he’s a closet case because he has OCD because he wanted to wait for marriage. Also he had persistent hiccups that kept him from getting a full night’s sleep. If he had gotten some pussy, maybe those hiccups would’ve gone away. Psychosomatic illness. Asshole.

 

Stan Love: (1973-1975)

No, I can't find a good picture of him in a Lakers uniform. Here is wearing a Norwegian field hockey uniform.

Before I was born, but Stan Love is Kevin Love’s father and the brother of Beach Boys singer Mike Love. Stan Love’s place in Beach Boys lore (specifically his bullying of Brian Wilson while employed as “bodyguard”) is enough to put him on this list. He stinks and I hope his son has a nervous breakdown and pours sand all over the court.

What The World Needs Is Another Twitter

May 20th, 2012

@techvshorse

 

That is the official Twitter account for my band Technology Vs. Horse. If you are so inclined, I advise you to go follow it now and you will get periodic updates on us, our music, upcoming shows and releases.

 

This all came about because I started a fake Twitter parody of TVH guitarist Rafe. I tried to write it in his voice, and I got away with it too. . . for TWO WEEKS. I would have gotten away with it longer but his mother saw it and asked him about it. He had no idea what she was talking about, and the parody was just sincere enough that it looked like what he would actually write.

 

So he called me and asked me to cut it out. Rafe told me he determined I was the one behind it because it contained a tweet reference to a sporting event and I’m the big sports fan in the band.

 

So instead of deleting the account, I just changed it over to an official band account. So there. I hope you’re happy.