Archive for October, 2011

Lou Reed + Metallica =/= Album Of The Year

October 26th, 2011

I feel pretty confident stating that in the headline. There’s no way Lulu is going to be regarded as anything other than the second worst Lou Reed album behind only Metal Machine Music. At least this album has content and isn’t just two discs of screaming feedback. But MMM is better in theory. I can’t explain why. Both are fascinating in their awfulness.


I am of that Chuck Klosterman camp that likes fascinatingly bad albums. Like Queen’s Hot Space, an album I maintain is both terrible yet ahead of its’ time. Or Kiss’ ill-fated attempt at a conceptual work, Music From ‘The Elder’. Klosterman described it with more verbiage than I will but I like the idea of misguided attempts to broaden out. Queen attempted to make a clubby album that would appeal to dance fans. Kiss attempted to prove they were more than songs about partying and chicks.


I still haven’t figured out what the aim is with Lou Reed and Metallica making music together. Perhaps that’s why I find it so interesting. I listened to Lulu yesterday and couldn’t figure it out. And yet here I am today listening to the streaming audio of the album again. If I’m not careful I might end up really liking this. Yesterday I said this went together like sushi and motor oil. I’m utterly fascinated with this bullshit. It’s so stupid, it makes no sense. And yet they went for it. I guess you can do this sort of thing when your set for life. Metallica is Metallica, and Lou’s got enough “Perfect Day” license money to take of himself for the remaining years of his life.


Is anyone surprised that ex-speed freak Lou Reed is still kicking and Frank Zappa is dead? I guess amphetamine is better for you than coffee and cigarettes.

Drug Testing for Welfare Recipients

October 18th, 2011

I don’t normally get into the political stuff on here, but I feel the need to about this subject. A while back, Florida state legislature voted to start drug testing their welfare recipients. I happen to know at least two guys that are in favor of this measure. I also know that neither of them could pass a random drug or sobriety test. And that hypocrisy gets on my nerves.


Philosophically, I understand the idea. Don’t let drug abusers waste the money the government gave them on drugs. However, I’m not sure it’s a good practical idea. Will it save more money than it costs?


Will $$$ of welfare money not spent on drug abusers > $$$ spent on testing? Will anyone in support of this answer this question?


But I don’t want to get into the minutiae of this legislation. I want to get into the thought processes of these people who in favor of the law who couldn’t pass a sobriety or drug test themselves at random. I find it distasteful, hypocritical and douchebaggish in the worst way.


I’m specifically thinking about the two guys I mentioned earlier. They have driver’s licenses. Let’s say there was a new law passed allowing for random drug testing of anyone with a license. Would they support that? I mean, a drug or alcohol in your system is certainly cause for concern on the highways and affects more people than drug-abusing welfare recipients.


How would they like it if the hammer was brought down on them instead of the Floridian-have-nots? Probably wouldn’t like it at all.


All I’m saying is if you are in favor of this legislation, be prepared to back it up with a piss test. Otherwise, you’re holding the poor to a double standard.

Battle Of The Bands!

October 17th, 2011

I’m proud to say that my band Technology Vs. Horse won the 2011 RevFest Battle of the Bands this past Saturday in Bowling Green. It was exciting.

I’m a bit tired and it’s early so I will swipe the full article from writer Chris Rutledge. I might interrupt at some point. Article in block quotes. I suggest you go to the website to see the awesome picture of our demonic-looking drummer Josh Hines.


Technology vs. Horse is the winner of the RevFest 2011: Battle of the Bands.

The annual event was sponsored on campus by Revolution 91.7 on Saturday evening.

TVH beat out nine other bands this year to win.

This is the second year in a row the band has won the competition, but Quality Assurance Director Nash Gumm said the band received no special treatment.
 Gumm, a Greensburg sophomore, said Technology vs. Horse (TVH) had to reapply just like the other bands.


Apparently, some people thought we had a unfair advantage going into this. Yeah, we got the BG scene in our back fucking pocket, don’t we?


Judge Patrick Goble, a music instructor at The Guitar Academy, said he and the other judges were particularly tough on TVH.

“We hated to give it to them a second time in a row, but they deserved it, they earned it, and the fans wanted them to have it,” Goble said.




Goble said the three things judges took into account were technical skill, originality and stage presence.

“A lot of it is that you’ve got to give the fans what they want,” he said. “They’ve got one of the strongest fan bases around. They are a fantastic band and they know how to put on a good show.”


Me, me, all me. I’m the fucking man. I’m the greatest performer alive.


Matt Bitner, bassist for TVH, said while he felt confident coming in, there was some good competition.

“I feel really good – I’m exhilarated,” Bitner said. “I was surprised, honestly. I really liked Televermin’s set.”

TVH will receive a $250 prize and will open for the headliner at Revolution’s spring event. They will also be the Revolution Artist of the Week.
 Bitner said TVH used last year’s prize to record a 5-track EP with Greyskull Recording’s Rory Willis, which the band is preparing to release.

Goble said the decision to award TVH first place was so tough that he pushed for a second place prize to be created, a gig a Tidball’s. 
Buffalo Rodeo won second place with Televermin earning honorable mentions.

This is the second year RevFest has featured a battle of the bands. Gumm said it was previously just a music festival.

“It goes on a year-by-year basis,” Gumm said. “It seems to be working really well, so we probably will continue it in the future.”

George Harrison’s Pudding Brain

October 12th, 2011

George Harrison died in 2001 from brain cancer and I can’t stop making jokes about it. Ol’ Puddin’ Brain Georgy. That explains why he liked all the sitar music. It must have been difficult for Skiffle Tumor McGillicutty to remember the mantra Maharishi gave him by the end. He must have really liked old microwaves and taping his head to them for hours on end. George Harrison bought the first cellular phone and duct-taped it to his ear. For fifteen years. Ol’ Cancer Wig Jones on the Rickenbacker. You know what the words to his last song were? “Orange, catepillar, MOMMY? Don’t stab me. Pattie? Eric Clapton is a cunt.” I’m sorry. That’s far too coherent a lyric. But Eric Clapton is a cunt. I believe it.


I watched the Scorcese doc about George and it was pretty good. I’ve been listening to “What Is Life” over and over again. I honestly thought it was Badfinger. Turns out three of the Badfingers are on the song, all playing acoustic guitar.


But that’s not the mood I’m in right now. Right now I want to make fun of a man who probably fitted all his hats with gutters. Stupid George Harrison. I hope he’s in hell. Cancer head Jones, that is.



A new video: Die Alone

October 7th, 2011


Okay, kids. Here is something that is GENUINELY new. A new Kentucky Prophet music video. Get excitement! Now! Or I’ll hit you in the throat! Here’s a link to the Yellowberri page where you can see it.


The song is called “Die Alone”. I wrote it. It is sung acapella in a graveyard in Bowling Green, Kentucky. A light drizzle can be heard on the leaves in the background. We shot the video under some trees for some cover.


This wonderful video could not have been possible without the wonderful help of Yellowberri Music Collective. Shot by Russell Brooks, Andrew Pearson and Nate Morgenson. We have the video available for view at Yellowberri’s Vimeo account. You should watch it. As of right now, it has under 300 views. I hate that. Why do shitty songs get to go viral but good songs not? What does Rebecca Black or Tay Zonday have that I don’t have other than being complete trainwrecks? If you like the video please retweet it and share it on your Facebook. I’d appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

Second date

October 7th, 2011

We went on our second date Thursday night. Our first date was in 1999. We went to the movies to see the first Star Wars prequel. That’s how I know how long ago it was.


What the hell took us so long? Well, we just fell out of touch. Life happens. I think I saw her a half-dozen times between our first date and our second date. I did my thing, she did hers. Our second date contained a lot of “catching up”.


In 1999, I was crazy about this girl. I just thought she was the cutest little thing I’d ever laid eyes upon. I still think she’s hot, even if she doesn’t think so herself. She confessed how she felt about her body and it made me sad yet oddly reassured. Because I feel the same way about myself and I guess just about everyone else. We can be really shitty to ourselves and those we claim we love, I guess.


That aside, I had a wonderful time with her Thursday night. We went for ice cream and sang karaoke. She sang two songs, one by Cyndi Lauper and the other by Fleetwood Mac. I sang “Somebody To Love” by Queen and tore the place down. I got crazy amount of love and dap from people. Strangers giving me a pound. I enjoyed myself. It wasn’t fair. I’m a professional singer. They didn’t know that, let them enjoy themselves.


When I got back to our table, she kissed me. And then we kissed some more. And then we went back to her place. . . and we kissed some more. And we listened to Queen and Frank Zappa. You know you got a keeper when you make out with a girl while listening to Frank Zappa and she’s the one who put it on!


It was sweet and teenage. No funny stuff. I didn’t even go to second base. I rubbed her tummy and gave her a foot massage. All warm cuddles and butterfly kisses. I left her place around 2 in the morning. Nothing unwholesome. I drove home happy as a clam. The beamingest boy in the whole wide world.


I don’t know when we’ll see each other again, but I know we will. Depends on her new work schedule, which she won’t get until next week. I’ll try to contain myself.